Today is my second or is it now third day of practicing Barber’s Adagio for Strings and it was a wonderful experience. My official copy of Opus 11 for Quartet came in today so now I have the full composition to learn. I’m so excited. 

With every practice, my confidence grows and the melody becomes clearer. I have spent the last four years dreaming of hearing this melody come from my own violin played by my own hands. It’s been almost a month since my last lesson but it seems like longer and two weeks ago when I set this goal before me, I didn’t think it would be possible to learn on my own. 

It is the most amazing feeling to be able to start to hear that melody created with my own hands. Sometimes it feels like it’s not real, like I’m dreaming. I longed for so many years to be able to actually play something so beautiful and that means so much to me, a song that reaches through my heart straight to my soul. 

And I’m doing it. I’m finally actually playing it! It really is a dream come true. I never believed when I started taking lessons this year that it would even be possible yet but I’m actually playing it! 

It isn’t perfect or as good as a master violinist playing it but to me it sound more sublime than the choirs of heaven. 

I hope I don’t sound arrogant but I’m just so happy and excited and pleased and proud of myself because even though I dreamed of playing the Adagio, I really never believed it would be possible or at least not for years yet. 

It has boosted my confidence so much that I feel like anything is now possible. To be able to learn it in less than a week, has given me a new hope for all things. If I can realize this dream, then it is also possible to achieve my dreams of healing, of being whole again, of knowing happiness and peace. 

There were mistakes, there were challenges but I persisted and I have accepted that it will take time to overcome them but to just be able to recognize the melody to feel it echoing in my soul makes it worth learning from my mistakes and keep trying. 

At this moment I am so very happy. A dream came true and that gives me the strength and hope that others will too.