COPEING Oppositional Defiant Disorder Community Group
Parents of children with ODD
My husband and I are emotionally exhausted from dealing with 16 yr old with ODD & ADHD. He takes meds for the ADHD but this past summer he has pushed every boundry possible., drinking, smoking marijuana, sneaking out, lying, going to parties, etc. We have tried everything from taking all electronics (cell phone, xbox, ipad, etc) nothing is working and actually makes him more spiteful. We have been in therapy for a bit now but so far everytime a behavior plan is made he doesnt seem to care about the consequence or simply does it anyway. At 16 his motivators are freedom,cell phone & time with friends, when he has broken the rule and given consequence he laughs and walks out anyway. I am trying to find anything that could help us. He does well academically so he throws that in our face as since he is honorall he should be able to do what he wants. Please help with any suggestions. thank you
We can't make them do anything. At the end of the day, the choices they make are up to them. We can influence, guide and recommend but that's about it. We can only enforce consequences when they make bad choices or don't do what they are supposed to do.
When they get to this age, it gets harder because they have resources beyond us. Friends who drive! Adds a whole other layer.
Our daughter is 15 but she doesn't do well academically so we use that in exchange for her "freedom". Good grades (C or better)=Time with friends. Bad grades=sit at home.
My only recommendation may be to visit empoweringparents.com. Lots of articles and resources that may help.
Hugs, I know it sucks!!!!!