COPEING Oppositional Defiant Disorder Community Group

Parents of children with ODD

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Hunbrog 11/01/2016

This is my first time on here, looking for some sort of help or Outlet I don't know. I have a 15 year old he was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD back when he was 9or 10. Though some therapists, (which we have seen many have helped with a few things here and there), things seem to be escalating and getting worse, my home is chaos fighting everyday, cussing screaming, destroying doors, walls. He was an A,B student his whole school career and now he's failing 3 or 4 classes and says he does not care he is giving up. We can barely get him to go to school he is missed so many days, of course there's always an excuse that he doesn't feel well or something hurts. His brother and he have a horrible relationship they haven't really spoken in 2 months, he has issues with his father because his father was military and was gone a lot. I cry almost every day I can't take this anymore and don't know what to do who to turn to where to go I keep looking for a therapist or somebody who's an expert in this area to help us but finding nothing. He's been on all kinds of medication yes it helped with some concentration but it made him feel sick and have a headache and he didn't eat. The medication did not help with the ODD, we have gone to so many therapist it's crazy. So here I think going to a psychiatrist would help all they do is prescribed medication. My marriage is suffering because of this. Our whole family is suffering. We are in serious crisis and don't know where to turn everyday it's something. Have one good day and you get this little spark of hope and then the next morning that spark of hope is gone. Sorry for the long post... I have very close friends and they understand a little bit but if you don't live with a child like this you really don't get it. Family members just try to tell you how to fix it but they don't get it either.

TiredMom80 01/28/2017

I feel you just told my story. I'm literally crying. I'm so sorry we are going through this. Just know that you are not alone.

nikki2 01/28/2017

You r not alone. It's so much energy and exhausting. We give them so much love and hope it will be enough and it never is. Other people who haven't gone thru this say just punish him - like we haven't tried -with every good day comes more bad days -and ur too tired to do anything.- we r strong moms and it's good to know we r not alone! I

Shyrey 01/31/2017

My 5 year old grandson has ODD. He will punch teachers in the face, hit other little children, he use to destroy rooms, etc. He is now in a special needs preschool and the other day I was call by the school to pick him up. I had to deep breath the whole way. I walked in and he saw me and knew he was in BIG trouble. I told him, "You pick that chair up right now", and he hopped to it. I am sorry you hare having problems with your son. Have you tried medication? DNA, which insurance paid for, was done on him and it showed which medications to use. I can tell a big difference when he is on medication. Some people are anti-meds, but not me! They work on my grandson to where he is 80% better than what he use to be. No more problems since I brought him home and spanked him. He has been an angle ever since. And no I do not use objects or any other kind of instrument on him to spank. I have consulted authorities and therapist and they have told me, "Open hand on bottom is legal.........Luckily I only have to do this every 3-4 months. He is a good boy with a learned behavior of ODD. It can be cured with therapy, medication, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

jersey4ever 01/31/2017

Totally understand - you are not alone - and you didn't do anything to cause this. You see a few good days and think you hit a turning point - then WHAM...right back to screaming, throwing things, breaking property, stealing... what can you do - just march on and keep hoping for the best.

NeedHopeNow 08/31/2017

Shyrey- I have a question as to what medication helps your grandson 80%? We struggle with our 15yearold. He was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD last year. Up until about a year and a half ago he was a good, respectful, kind, happy kid. We are at a complete loss as to what the hell happened, He is a totally different kid - angry, deceptive manipulative, disrespectful- you name it. Consequences don't seem to have any affect. Last year for the first time ever, he struggled in school. Up to that point he was an almost all A student. He has an "I don't care about anything" attitude about everything. He is causing such stress and anxiety in our home and for our younger two sons. He is on medication for the ADHD, which helps only mildly. I would love to know what is working for others- what medication, what therapies-specifics, what discipline techniques, - really anything that might help. We are losing our minds here...

scmomof4 09/23/2017

Hi NeedHopeNow, I'd also say my son is about 80% better since starting meds. He has ADHD and ODD. He takes Vyvanse and Trileptal. Vyvanse is more for the ADHD and Trileptal for ODD but I find (and the psychiatrist has confirmed) they work together to address the ODD. When the stimulant (Vyvanse) wears off, he is more aggressive and oppositional. My son is 15. We started him on these meds when he was 10. He has not had many violent outbursts since he was 10 when they were happening almost everyday.

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