Hey all. Just some background: my had a few sexual experiences with other males recently, but have ALWAYS been protected during sex. I felt this same anxiety about a week ago and got a rapid HIV test--it came back negative. I haven't had any sexual experiences after that. Three days ago I had a sore throat. The next day I went to an urgent care because my anxiety was through the roof because I was convincing myself that this was an onset of HIV. The doctor said that it was an upper respiratory infection most likely caused by seasonal allergies. I bought some Zyrtec and went on with my life. I've been progressively feeling better until today. I don't feel nearly as sick as I did yesterday, but I noticed a few red bumps and one red patch on my chest (I have a pretty hairy chest) and I freaked out. I immediately associated that with HIV skin rash lesions. I popped 2 of them and pus came out so I ended up dismissing them as acne. However, after drinking some coffee (which doesn't help anxiety at all), I noticed a white coating with scattered red spots on my tongue. Once again, I flipped out, nearly having a full-blown panic attack. I went to the internet, just like any other minor symptom I felt and everything pointing to oral thrush and how it's most common with those affected by HIV. I have successfully convinced myself that my test was a false negative. Ever since, I have been consistently feeling my forehead for a fever, it's warm and I don't have a thermometer. Also, I have been consistently checking my lymph nodes in my neck and groin. I don't know if they are swollen or not so that has me worried.

In short, this general anxiety and obsession with self-checks has been going on for weeks and I just cannot shake these thoughts or actions. I feel as though I am at a total loss and that accepting the fact that I have HIV is going to happen. I'm so scared and I plan on getting another test done. Please tell me someone is going through a similar experience with me.

Thanks,
John