Hi there,

You do understand that you are a piece of work :-). I don't do well with liars, and I feel at risk to even give you anything further than just this tip: Stay within an active support community, okay? By this way, you may go about to different support groups, posting your comments, you may mingle with others, as a helper to them, and develop a skill at training of your thoughts to honesty, as there is not really a reason to lie to strangers, so temptation is lessened; it is the ego you have pushing you to look good in the sight of others, yet no one sees you in person in chat forums, unless you use other online technology to be seen or heard you are safe in the privacy of home. Get the point? You really need to see that telling the truth helps you to get over this lying addiction. Then you need to follow a good plan of action to boost this low-self confidence you have, and you are low in self-esteem. Find books related to building a better self-image. My advice. Thing is, while meeting face-to-face with real people, you are searching your mind to be that interesting and popular type of person. So you make up false truths to make yourself appear as popular, and this behavior puts you further and further in to that guilty feeling of self-defeat, because you tell a lie to cover lowliness. On the other hand, if you are only writing out words inside of a message board, or social network, there is really no need for you to impress anyone; all are strangers, just as you. Fact is, you are without a face while visiting in online chat, and this fact will lessen the temptation for you to lie. You are going to have to take this type of action to undo the spell of lying.

Books will help to encourage you to stop telling lies, but your personal action speak louder than words. Important to remember that words are very useful inside of chat forums, and I feel that you really want to help people; you will be inspired to be a better person with honest help. Further, you get to review what you write while resting in the space of your home and not feeling intimidation while meeting a person face-to-face, which excites you, as you then lie to cover your low-self image. When writing in chat forums, you have less threat of shame or guilt feeling and you may have less temptation to surrender to telling lies. Still, no one has to know you personally online, so no person will make it a passion to shame you or make you feel guilty as you are indeed trying to stop the lies. If you start to feel uncomfortable, move away from the chatroom. You are brave to admit that you have this problem. It is a start to reach for help. You can get over this problem. Work at it. :-)

Best to you!

I have a similar problem to you and so i can definitely relate. I've almost blown my marriage up more times than i can count and have no idea why she hasn't left me. One thing that has helped recently is for me to admit things that i wouldn't have to: if I check out someone when i'm away from my partner, if i arrive late to work, if i forgot to do something i was supposed to do, that kind of thing. I found that keeping the lies inside created a lot of guilt and anxiety that i didn't know how to deal with. That in turn created shame, which made me lie to hide how i truly felt. It is a vicious circle. By admitting small things, it helped unburden myself, and as time passed i managed to admit bigger things. Sometimes that led to arguments, but one thing you need to remember is that sometimes a discussion/argument isn't a bad thing. I wish you luck and hope that you find something that works for you.

Thanks Wraith85 for your words and help

I can relate to do your story, I'm struggling with the same issue and it is not easy and as much as you would like to change because you love someone it is so hard to even begin. I'm practicing of thinking before speaking, anything I say I first say it in my head and question myself. Little by little I hope truth will become a reflex. Good luck!