Compulsive Liars Community Group

Figure out why you lie. People often develop the habit of lying from a very early age. Perhaps you learned as a child that you could get your way more often if you lied, and you continued the practice as a teenager and beyond as a way to navigate the difficult situations we all encounter in life. Knowing the root cause of your lying is the first step to making a change.

146 Members
45 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Compulsive Liars Support Group

looking for help.

pandari
pandari

hey guys,


Yesterday evening I came clean to my self that i'm addicted to lying. I've had this problem for as long as I can remember, so pinpointing when it started is nearly impossible. It got worse when I was in college (2015-2019) because I continuously tried to fit in and sound cool so that people were interested in me and wanted to be my friend, or even so I could get out of doing things without "letting people down". I have recently started dating someone who has been the only one to call me out on the fact that I am a compulsive liar, which I am honestly genuinely grateful for. My issue, however, is it has gotten to the point where I can no longer tell when I say the lie until after it comes out of my mouth, or she says something. That's the part that scares me.



I want to get better yes for this relationship, but most importantly for myself. I feel fake, and like I don't know who I really am and I just want to be someone who is proud of themselves and stop hurting the people in my life.



Does anyone have ideas of what I can do? I have:


- wrote a list of all the lies that I recall telling


- started to tell people I lied to the truth


- had my girlfriend start calling me out when she suspects something is a lie



These are great for the aftermath but how do I prevent this from happening altogether?


Thanks in advance


ARA

Cjs2018
Cjs2018
I am right there with you, I have pretty much ruined my marriage at this point. I am trying to rebuild. One of the things I am doing is telling the small truth every time.
How are You? - Not Great but surviving, instead of fine and things like that.

I am also writing things down, lies are hard to remember, and sometimes I can even convince myself my lie is true
Jalucas
Jalucas
I have this same problem. In some social situations I tend to lie about little things to make myself look better. I'm real bad about saying, "I won't do it anymore", but I do. My wife got tired of it so we're separated now. I pray everyday that me and her will eventually get back together once I get my problems resolved. I am seeing a therapist and also going to marriage counseling. I can tell you that moving out/separating, and without the use of television has really helped me think about everything.

I guess the best answer I can give you would be just to think real hard before you speak and make sure you know the truth before you speak and then speak the truth. No matter how hard it is going to hurt you gotta do it.