i have always been the all or nothing person. I feel emotions intensely or not at all. Recently I was diagnosed with CPTSD. I don't have the money for therapy or treatment and I'm lost.

i feel angry all the time. Angry at the misdiagnoses I have received in the past. Angry that I have to deal with it. Angry that the people I love have to deal with it. Angry that I had no choice in this matter and I have to suffer the consequences. 

I also feel like nothing in this world that has anything to do with me is doomed. Like I am a black cloud. Relationships, business, children, etc. I don't want to live like this. I want help. I'm mad at the world it feels like. I've been trying my whole life to be a good person and since the diagnosis I feel like it will never happen and I won't ever be good enough.

i also apologize for my first post being super gloomy, I've been going through a lot and found this page and decided to jump on.