Maybe I am confused because of the guilt about everything from CPTSD. I know I feel guilty @ going to bed late which is a result of CPTSD. I don't know. Id be very grateful for your feedback.

I think it's totally the C-PTSD.

I think the brain tries so hard to find a safe place sometimes - especially during times of stress - that our thoughts focus where they are used to focusing. It's kind of like training? You are likely VERY used to trying to find some sense of control by controlling your own actions because you could not control anything else.

I think it is very commendable that you take such good care of yourself. I'm sure the snack actually helps you rest because you know you've done all you can to ensure you are not the cause of the insomnia.

Thank you so much.
YOU ARE SO HELPFUL JOURNAL READER. YOU ARE AMAZING. YOUR FEEDBACK HELPS ME SO MUCH AND I PRAY TO HELP YOU IN SOME WAY.
HERE are my thoughts about what you wrote:
I think I am used to beating myself up about EVERYTHING that I do. I don't think I'm very good at controlling what I do because I always act from my heart in social situations which means I don't blend in so great and then also have social anxiety as a result. I also don't think I'm very good at time management which is part of control.
I do think I REALLY want to take good care of myself, and its hard right now bc I have complicated health regime, no mailing address or $ to get what I need to stay on track. So at least making sure to eat ample food helps my brain and body. I'm also new to hypglycemia so CONFUSED about the before bedtime snack. In regards to food, I spend more than I really have to spend to feed myself, which feels like more guilt but that is what I do.
SO, IN LIGHT OF THAT, WHAT DO YOU THINK/RECOMMEND?
LOVE AND PRAYERS

I understand acting from the heart. It's tough. I get easily wounded and often worry about wounding others.

Time management is tricky. That could be a C-PTSD issue as well, unfortunately. The good news is that there are tricks and tools to help with that. I wouldn't focus on that until you are more settled, obviously.

I want to sugar coat things for you but really, you are in a difficult spot. Shelter, food, and clothing are all necessities of life. You are very much in survival mode right now. I would fully expect there to be a lot of anxiety. Shelter is a pretty big deal!

You have gotten away from abuse! You survived! You are still alive! You are here and people care about you.

I really don't think you realize just what you are accomplishing here. It's quite amazing from my perspective.

YOU are amazing in my perspective! And so helpful; no words for my gratitude. You're right I don't realize "just what you are accomplishing here" Will you explain? I would like to understand. Blessings, hugs and prayers.

You have gotten out form under controlling and abusive people. I've never seen that go easy for a person. I think you have taken on a very respectable and admirable feat!

How are time management and CPTSD related? I notice I really struggle with time management confusion and guilt but I do loose track of time. Like I got hypoglycemic at midnight, then got a snack, then got distracted doing things I love, now its 2:30am and I think I need another snack to be safe, and I feel guilty cause I should have been more mindful cause now Im going to be getting in bed so late, but I was just going slowly and relaxing while I ate the first snack but now Im sufferring the time management consequence cause if I had eaten/relaxed ealier/faster, I would get more sleep and be able to do more of what is on my deadline list tomorrow.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT

am diagnosed with complex PTSD, I fear many things, all to do with time, people, my surrounding, for example the furniture, my bedding, my towels, things that touch my skin. for example allowing too much or too little time to arrive on time. for example social interaction getting my needs met but also managing others needs because I don't want them to get the hump. It's complicated. a nitemare. a disability. have a disability living allowance hearing next month, go to court for a panel to decide if I need benefits to assist me to pay for services for example water, leccy and gas.

You guys rock! x27. Is this group still active at all?