I can barely write this. I think I just need a hug. I wish I could talk to you all in a group in person. I moved from New York to Missouri about a year ago, was just married and my husband is from here. Left the only only family I ever knew, yes, they were dysfunctional and abusive. Now my husband works, earns very little and we are STRUGGLING. shut off notices, low on food,ect. After almost a year of searching I think I will have a job offer but cant/wont take it. It is in a really high crime area and I have worked in these before, been stalked, harrassed. cant take that again. My PTSD is very bad. I was severly abused my whole childhood. now I have this terrible situation of ...again....putting my life at risk for work....or risk poverty..........which is risky in itself. my mind id made up the intense felings of fear aer driving me crazy. I keep disassociating, cant concentrate.