Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Community Group
A group for those who have ptsd or complex ptsd.
CPTSD and DEPRESSION related guilt/anxiety about eating/time management/tasks OVERWHELM
Will you share more about what eating/sleeping was like for you in the past years and as you've grown?
I have this chronic insomina, so like tonight I was exhausted at 10:30, but my body wasn't ready for bed, didn't have the energy for packing, the time was not right to take a shower, and I hadn't had the snack I know I need to have before bed to be safe with the hypoglycemia.
So I took care of a few things, and started on my snack. I got nervous about my new credit card bill, and called the bank to find out when my cycle ends/is due. I was able to change it to a better date.
It is midnight and I am not halfway though my snack. I have a LOT of guilt today because I did accomplish stuff, and it maybe that I can't arrive at he living room until Tues/wed anyway she hasn't confirmed, but I DIDN'T PACK and and I spent a lot of money to buy food.
I just wonder if I need all the food I am eating even though my pants are loose and I wear the smallest size.
I wonder if Im stupid to spend $ on that and should eat less. My parents always give me a hard time they REALLY beat me up @ my grocery bill, but they don't have the allergies I do.
Like today I ate a pile of blackberries(the cheapest this week) 2 salads with an 2 heads of cooked kale, salad greens and chicken, some decaf coffe with a little milk, a couple small square of dark chocolate and now 2 or 3 nonfat greek yogurts with berries probably.
I also hate myself/feel guilty about the hypoglycemia/amount of time spent because everyday not only do I cook my meals for that day, I also have to keep going down to the kitchen to get meals/snacks which I bring to my room and then eat at the computer so I can do something I need to get done while I am, or at night sometimes enjoy like contacting friends on Facebook etc,
but I feel guilty about the expense, the amount of time it takes out of my day, just wonder if I am excessive eating all this food. Im totally addicted to my greek yogurts with fruit, they are my favorite thing I eat all day, and I really do feel like the dairy helps me sleep.
But I also feel guilty for the fact that my hypoglycemia keeps me up later.
AND on top of that at night, after I stop doing professional things(like tonight I still kept going with the bank, emailing the woman who wanted to work with me on a project, someone who contacted me on FB I felt obliged to respond to) and Ive recognized that Im too tied to do anymore, (somehow I could do those things less emotionally draining ok for night time than going through those papers TO PACK)
It takes me a while to chill out from the day, digest my snack, and actually get in bed. SO NO MATTER how tired I am this keeps happenning.
I think there is something to reconcile here that I need to. I know the bedtime snack is important cause I can't go down to the kitchen immediately in the morning when I wake up. I know that I hate myself for staying up late, spending $ on food, loosing track of time while I accomplish tasks, always feeling I haven't completed enough like PACKING but somehow there was no time for that today during daylight hours given everything that occurred in this house and groceries and the timing of a number of things that I was not expecting. And I woke up exhausted.
I would just be VERY grateful if you have anyfeedback.
What was is/was eating/sleeping like for you? Can you can relate to feeling like its all messed up when you were feeling bad?
How do you deal with guilt(if you struggle with it) and overwhelm?
THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FRIEND FEEDBACK IS SO HELPFUL
ETERNAL GRATITUDE AND HUGS
Will you share more about what eating/sleeping was like for you in the past years and as you've grown?
I have this chronic insomina, so like tonight I was exhausted at 10:30, but my body wasn't ready for bed, didn't have the energy for packing, the time was not right to take a shower, and I hadn't had the snack I know I need to have before bed to be safe with the hypoglycemia.
So I took care of a few things, and started on my snack. I got nervous about my new credit card bill, and called the bank to find out when my cycle ends/is due. I was able to change it to a better date.
It is midnight and I am not halfway though my snack. I have a LOT of guilt today because I did accomplish stuff, and it maybe that I can't arrive at he living room until Tues/wed anyway she hasn't confirmed, but I DIDN'T PACK and and I spent a lot of money to buy food.
I just wonder if I need all the food I am eating even though my pants are loose and I wear the smallest size.
I wonder if Im stupid to spend $ on that and should eat less. My parents always give me a hard time they REALLY beat me up @ my grocery bill, but they don't have the allergies I do.
Like today I ate a pile of blackberries(the cheapest this week) 2 salads with an 2 heads of cooked kale, salad greens and chicken, some decaf coffe with a little milk, a couple small square of dark chocolate and now 2 or 3 nonfat greek yogurts with berries probably.
I also hate myself/feel guilty about the hypoglycemia/amount of time spent because everyday not only do I cook my meals for that day, I also have to keep going down to the kitchen to get meals/snacks which I bring to my room and then eat at the computer so I can do something I need to get done while I am, or at night sometimes enjoy like contacting friends on Facebook etc,
but I feel guilty about the expense, the amount of time it takes out of my day, just wonder if I am excessive eating all this food. Im totally addicted to my greek yogurts with fruit, they are my favorite thing I eat all day, and I really do feel like the dairy helps me sleep.
But I also feel guilty for the fact that my hypoglycemia keeps me up later.
AND on top of that at night, after I stop doing professional things(like tonight I still kept going with the bank, emailing the woman who wanted to work with me on a project, someone who contacted me on FB I felt obliged to respond to) and Ive recognized that Im too tied to do anymore, (somehow I could do those things less emotionally draining ok for night time than going through those papers TO PACK)
It takes me a while to chill out from the day, digest my snack, and actually get in bed. SO NO MATTER how tired I am this keeps happenning.
I think there is something to reconcile here that I need to. I know the bedtime snack is important cause I can't go down to the kitchen immediately in the morning when I wake up. I know that I hate myself for staying up late, spending $ on food, loosing track of time while I accomplish tasks, always feeling I haven't completed enough like PACKING but somehow there was no time for that today during daylight hours given everything that occurred in this house and groceries and the timing of a number of things that I was not expecting. And I woke up exhausted.
I would just be VERY grateful if you have anyfeedback.
What was is/was eating/sleeping like for you? Can you can relate to feeling like its all messed up when you were feeling bad?
How do you deal with guilt(if you struggle with it) and overwhelm?
THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FRIEND FEEDBACK IS SO HELPFUL
ETERNAL GRATITUDE AND HUGS
deleted_user
Having irregularities with eating and sleeping is completely normal for all folks, not just with us with (c)ptsd-ers. Try not to feel guilty, this is wasted energy. Don't judge yourself too much when you are feeling like crap. Accept who you are if you cannot do anything to change it, in regards to health problems. Do your best and push yourself a little, not a lot. Two steps forward, one step back will u get there.
Shadow75
It sounds like you have the things that goes along with cptsd. See your Dr and ask them for meds for anxiety and to help you sleep. That is what I did and it keeps me on a time table. mostly. Don't stress about the food and cost. It sounds like it's not hurting you. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have to live. Good Luck!!!
Join the Conversation