hello, i am new here this is my story. wow! i am glad i found this group been looking for a long time. this may be very long i expect ppl to read the entire post and not assume. a bit of background: my mom and dad (both 66 and 65 their bdays) been married for 45 yrs it was never a happy marriage. the story goes when they 1st met in NY, they didn't know each other at all and 2 weeks later they got married - doomed on the day they said i do!

my mom's aunt cindy knew something wasn't right about my dad and begged mom not to marry him yet he did anyway. so, he has a terrible track record about himself and so does mom. i strongly believe she knew what a piece of shit she married but was desperate to marry him anyway as he needed a mother figure.

my mom has her 1st born daughter by an old bf from hs. my 2nd oldest sister, brother, and me are all related blood wise to my our dad (the pos my mom married). my mom never had anything going on for herself a hs grad, one who was barely about to graduate when she was 17 and preggo with my 1st born half sister.

she has nothing to her name at all. all my mom said out of her entire life is how "the man" is trying to do us in. 'i dont wanna work at xyz because of those cracker white ppl etc." the cheating with my dad i guess started in 72 b4 my brother was born (2 sisters were already born) and still continues now in 2012 lol. my mom was so involved in my dad's affairs instead of doing stuff for herself.

for their entire marriage, she relies on him for money never wanting to keep a job. my 2nd oldest sister told me that our mom would work here and there in less than a year and quit the job because of another woman. with her working, it is accummulative to 2 yrs of work experience and hasnt held a job since then.

she has zero money, zero assets, zero accomplishments, no college, etc and thinks she has done more than any woman out there has ever done! she relies on my dad (and me) to drive her to places, she used to take the bus in cali all the time but refuses to use the bus here in AZ. she uses her vertigo (imaginary) to not do anything a doctor in the 80s told her its all in her mind plus my mom always fake her illnesses anyway. she never eats well very little borderline diabetic, cant walk correctly just stumbles doesnt press her feet flat on the ground when walking, etc overall disgusting looking. i just laugh...

she takes 7 different prescriptions but tells me she is healthier and skinnier than me which she is probably pushing 400lbs im much smaller than her not skinny either lol. i cant remember a time where she did something for herself. instead of her doing some research on anything, she would ask my dad the man she cant stand and is a pathological liar and she's the habitual liar too!

she listens to the news 24/7, if i know something that she doesnt know, like i said she goes to my dad and he tells me how i am wrong and she buys it! always gotta defend him yet doesnt wanna be married to him anymore i dont get it lol. why ask him anything when the answer is never true? why listen to a narcissus yet she is one herself?

my mom as well as my dad are beyond lazy good for nothing idiots a waste of a sperm and egg! a piece of paper could be in front of her then argues with you why you won't pick it up. it's right in front of you why can't you bend over and get it? nothing wrong with her anyway she can eat like a pig but can't bend down to pick up something!?

she talks as if she has a lot of money, i mean over 100k which she doesn't i know how much she has she blasts it everyday! she says im broke everyday yet can spend money on crap jewelry on tv or buys a ton of junk food while letting me suffer since i am still looking for work and no i don't qualify for unemployment because i didn't work long enough i was just a student back then.

she gets mad at my 2nd oldest sister about not having enough money. my sister told her what assets do you have to ur name? my mom calculates how much she will get from my dad after the divorce yet still haven't been to divorce court yet! the stories keep changing and more lies come out. she has always been broke from day one and my uncle told me she expects ppl to take care of her while she does nothing put a dent in your wallet and act like nothing happen then she hates you when you call her out and wants nothing to do with you.

i said that is so true typical of her behavior from birth. he said she has this u owe me attitude. my dad calls her a leech, bloodsucker, and a mooch for not doing anything for herself yet never wanted her to do anything at the same time. it's always 'the bitch in escondido is the reason why i couldn't do xyz,' i just turned 26 sunday and still says that shit!

god, it is soooo old do we still have to care? we dont care never did! my sister told mom that if dad just left today you would be stranded with no money and no roof over ur head my mom blew up in her face but it is the truth. she won't get a lawyer, won't talk to the irs on fraud from him and his mistress from the 70s on the tax paperwork, won't find more info about where the money is going (besides the other woman), etc.

mom said she can't do the research online because computers weren't invented in the 50s....really? she can't use a cell phone, camera, camcorder, etc all because it is too hard and complicated this newer technology wasn't around in her era....who cares!? i ask her anything on something and she doesn't know because she don't read nor has life experience because all she did in her life she was a shut in never wanting to leave the house and hates people including animals. she hates her own children that's been expressed a lot and her own kids hate her so its equal.

she told me she wants to get her own place leaving my dad heard that same story thousands of her times. i said how r u gonna do that? u need an income to keep coming in all the time plus how do u call urself independent yet u still can't do anything for urself? yea, she screamed when i said that. she can't even go to the store by herself yet alone walking or taking the bus for fear of "ppl will look at me weird and think i am a drug addict," well u r sorry to say eat those prescriptions like they are candy!!

she would rather waste money using a cab to drive her around instead of finding other ways to get to where she needs to go. she said seniors like me (now she wants to be called a senior?) dont use the bus, lightrail, trolley, etc i said really? how many of them have i seen on those public transportation systems b4 i got a car? she said it doesnt exist that seniors use public transportation excuuuse me??? did i miss something?!?!

everything she says and do (well, won't do) is just utterly disgusting. growing up, she said i taught u independence never take a back seat to no one but at the same time my mom doesn't know that yet and lets ppl walk all over her, so how is that teaching me independence when she expects everyone to take care of her with her "u owe me attitude."

my sister would get after me on doing stuff for herself as she has done so herself. well, my brother and sister don't realize how much shit we went thru really took a toll on me and how its been hard to function and be an adult. i asked this what is independent? i don't know what that means and im being serious. i have always been codependent all my life because of the absent minded parents we had and always been seeking to find "parents" to teach me what my parents should have taught me as a kid growing up. you can say i don't have basic survival skills or skills to live by that's gonna benefit for me for life.

its embarrassing how my bf had to teach me stuff when again my parents should have done that. ppl tell me if i cling onto my past, life will get harder. life was already hard for me growing up, what are these ppl talking about? it was hard at 11 yrs old! what do u mean much harder as an adult? it started at an early age nobody didn't teach me anything or stepped in to redirect me in another light b4 it got worse!

well, i am tired but will finish up if anyone has any suggestions, opinions, questions, etc. let me add i am seeing a therapist for several weeks now. i had a counselor in hs but he was rude nor used his life experiences to help me in anyway he was the poorest counselor zero help(used to be my 8th grade math teacher)

. since then, i have been enjoying this therapist at a low cost clinic. being paid by the state i am fine airing out everything with my therapist. i guess u can say i feel comfy talking to someone one on one about my issues not a whole group last that happen with a circle of friends it went very badly leaving me to not tell anyone anything anymore.

right now at the therapy session, we are talking about ways for me to forgive my past and to make peace with it. i did pray to God on saturday at shabbat so i will just have to wait and see. my therapist and i are talking about what my parents didnt do and should have done. i would have more independence if i had my own place the therapist does not know i still live at home. i couldnt move in with a friend because they deserted me.

isn't it embarrassing age 26 i have to relearn everything?