Codependents working their recovery Community Group
Working on recovery
I finally woke up to understand the true underpinnings of my actions in my love life (and in my work, friend and family life).
I really and truly have outsourced so much and get upset when I realize I have given up my free will except to tell everyone that they aren't treating me "right," are judging me, or taking me for granted. I thought the reality that I keep running into control freaks, narcissists and emotionally unavailable people was a long string of coincidences. Ha, oh well!
I have been absorbing Ross Rosenberg and Lisa Romano over the last week! I went to my very first CODA meeting and intend to ask my therapist to work with me on learning how to reclaim myself as a recovering codependent.
I asked a friend to hold me accountable - I am about to go through the withdrawal period, like when I quit drinking. Cold Turkey. I swear since my divorce, I haven't been without a love interest for more than 2 months. I will quit for 3 months to start. In this time, I promise to keep looking at my own manifestation of codependence and find ways to treat MYSELF RIGHT.
issues in the relationship. My ex was dry, it still did
not matter. i needed alanon to his needing AA.
i believe most people in 12 step groups are a
codependent of one sort or another.
Many times codependency recovery is second tier
work. Mine did not show itself until after the divorce
and me moving. i had been in recovery for 3 years by
that point. I knew i was an adult child no question.
i am very glad you started recovery and joined Coda.
I too love rosenberg and romano.
Keep moving toward the light, thats all i do. Hugs
I quit drinking 6 years ago and went to Alanon while I was still in relationship with my ex. That was a time of instant awareness of the dynamic I had bought into and one of the most challenging times in my life as I extricated myself by choosing me over the relationship with alcohol and with my narcissistic ex. I thought that was circumstantial, a one-off. That I would never be in that kind of situation ever again.
It took me this long to realize that my behaviors and attitudes are still with me- codependence. In my childhood, my ego took control to help me survive the dismantling and stifling of my self by those around me. I have a strong sense of victimhood and emotional helplessness that does not serve me at all.
I understand it and see it now but as I said it puts my self worth into other people's hands. It is time to build up my self worth as I release trauma. Take risks that people might not like or approve of me.
layer And retraining and reparenting to get
better, stronger and healthier.
I feel like its been a long hard six years and
I still struggle about my ex every day. I still
want to beat him up:) its how i feel.
I just keep putting one foot in front of the
other And doing the best i can in my own
recovery and in my life, HUGS
So congrats on how far you've come. :)