Things changed and resentments grew on both
Sides. I stuffed mine down and he got angry with
Me. Our emotional intimacy is what suffered the
Most. That is the slow death of any marriage.

You described my marriage perfectly! I feel responsible to make a definitive choice. Am I prolonging the pain by "giving us a try" or is it really worth it?

I found my answers once i started alanon. Many of us
run the same course in our Relationships. Its amazing
when you hear The stories. I also belonged to an online
Alanon Group.

I do not believe a toxic relationship can be Fixed, too
much damage and history.

Everyone needs to do whatever is best for themselves
And No one else can tell you what to do, HUGS

I keep having divorce/financial related
issues. I just wish My heart was healed up
and i felt no bond Toward my ex.

I am not ready for a new relationship unless
It just happens to land at my feet and i feel
Its Hp's will for me.

There are a lot of learning curves in a new
relationship And that is good. i know that
and to Practice my tools and keeping my
autonomy.

I do know that many before me have Had
better and more fulfilling and enjoyable
new lives With or without a new partner.
It is There ahead awaiting.

I guess the answer is to keep healing and
Pushing forward. Get centered to the best of
My ability. That is an area that still needs plenty
Of work. Hugs

I have seen some couples overcome their past, but only when both people are willing to work hard on themselves as well as on the relationship. Without two willing partners, it can't happen, which is more often the case, as there is only one willing partner. Our loyalty (addiction) keeps us in there way too long. Our ongoing belief that they will change doesn't help. It all comes back to two willing partners. Healing hugs to all.

Its not that. I do know the marriage is done And truly over.

I did have to be hit with a 2x4 and tried everything I could.

Its financial stuff and decisions. I want to let sleeping dogs lay at this point. Hugs

Know you will make solid recovery based decisions. Hugs along the way.

Thank you for your wisdom, i hopefully
Will know Whats right for me. I will keep
sitting on It until i decide what i need to
do or not Do.

I do not really want to tangle with him
again But that is not always the smart
option As i have Learned in life it can
come back and bite you.

Its bringing up all kinds of stuff even
Getting into this area. Its the only
Connection we have left and i can
Get badly triggered still, HUGS

Healing hugs as you continue to sort out your plan of action.

Hugs and support to you as you figure things out and work your steps through. It's not a fun place to be. I moved out a year ago because the stress was affecting my health, and while we are sometimes working on it, and he asked me to go to therapy with him, I now go independently, and he isn't doing his individual work or therapy sessions at all lately. Half the time he slacks until I remind him he's not doing his work. And who wants to be the only one all-in on changing things for the better? Too many of us (codependent) are the only ones doing all the "work" on our relationships, being the responsible one, the caretaker, or the fixer. It definitely does take two people to fix this stuff. And even once you realize the other person has stopped, it is still hard to let go. Even once it's dead, other things complicate matters. It's that fully letting go at the end that's always the hardest part for me. I'm just not there yet. I don't see this really working successfully with me doing more about it... while he works on it/us from time to time. I'll figure it out eventually though. And you will figure your situation out as well. You just keep working hour steps. And thanks for sharing your situation. Hugs

Thank you for your support. I am still sitting
On it . Its funny the divorce care head facilator
Asked me to come back and visit again. I have
Not been there for well over a year.

Choices do have consequences and they seem
To always keep coming up in relationships And in
work.

I do try to sit on the bigger ones and issues and
Hope and pray i get my answer. Many times its
To leave it alone and let the chips fall where they
Must. HUGS