Boy can I relate. I'm sitting here drinking at 2 in the afternoon and I don't even drink. I can't remember the last time I had any alcohol, thank goodness we keep some around for guest. I just left my t.'s office and after telling him all that's been going on and how I've been trying to use the tools he has taught me, but nothing is working right now, all he could say was "I don't know what to say". "Sometimes we have to sit with a problem until a new direction presents itself". He has already said that he has never worked with someone whose upbringing has so totally destroyed the core person. I don't want to hear that. I want to hear something positive. Just a little sprig of hope, not how bad I am. I've been told what an aweful person I am my whole life. Now my T. thinks I'm too broken to heal? I know he's human and doesn't know all the answers, but right now everything feels so hopeless.

Sorry, I don't think you are an evil person for asking them to leave. There are times when your mind just can't handle that level of anxiety and looks for anyway to lower it. I hope your daughter understands what a difficult time you've been having and is supportive. Please don't be too hard on yourself. You are a good and kind person, NOT an evil one. Sending gentle (((Hugs))) your way!!!

Insecure, reaching the end of what you can handle right now doesnt make you evil, just human. Everyone has limits to their endurance.

Aurenna, I can't believe your therapist said that. Hang in there. No matter how dark and discouraging things seem, there is always hope. This is a tough time of year. Lean on your friends.

Insecure, asking your family to leave when they are triggering you was a responsible thing to do. Some people react to triggers by abusing people around them - you asked them to leave - that was a responsible way to handle the situation. You can talk to your daughter about it when you are in a better frame, I hope she is supportive enough to understand.

Yes, sounds like it might be time to look for a new therapist, Aurenna. His job is to help you find your way, not to discourage you from continuing to try. You have supportive friends here that believe in you. Try not to be so hard on yourself. There are always ups and downs in the struggle with PTSD - it will get better. Hugs

((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

honey I shared a bathroom for 22 years with 6 people. It made me crazy. I now have my own and it has solved the problem. I just clean it every time before i use the one others share. I know lots of people with this issue. can you put in another bathroom in the basement for them or you?

Sometimes, the belief that we must continually give of ourselves becomes totally egregious and fails when we believe that...by giving totally of ourselves...that people will love us back after the fact.

This sets us up for disappointment...and then anger at ourselves for sensing that...we lost...not only what we gave, but the people we "invested" in.

Truth is: If nobody gives anything to anybody at anytime...then charity and care are dead.

So, we should keep giving...but responsibly...not only to them but to ourselves as well. There's a balance to be had here.

You can't give what you haven't got.

Thanks for that Tigerpaws. Truly profound.