My pain has gotten so bad that I can only do stuff every other day.I am very limited to what  I can do. Most of the time  I just stay  in bed or watch TV I’ve tried repeatedly to go out for walks but I always pay for them! I just cannot longer  go away for a vacation or getaway because the pain is just so bad that I really am not functioning anymore.I can no longer hide my pain from other people and it just gets so bad that I get nauseated and find myself dry heaving or throwing up. On the plus side I have lost weight although I didn’t really need to lose weight. I have tried so many things and the insurance keeps denying any lidocaine  patches or voltaren patches.. I have the ointment but it doesn’t work as well I have tried so many things and nothing really seems to help much anymore. While  I’m not going to kill myself   I have thought about it lots of times  I am just not going  to try so hard to live! I’m just giving up and I hate that it’s doing this to me