Hi all, I was diagnosed with cml on 1/11/13.  I've struggled accepting this diagnosis to this day.  I am looking for a place to vent my feelings.  It's been 5 years since my diagnosis. I always hear "you don't look sick" & I feel like people forget what I'm going through. For example, If I say I don't feel good & do not want to go anywhere(usually on weekends), I get this "coldness" from my husband because he wants to get out of the house (he works from home).  I do get out some during the week if I have to go to the grocery or a doctor's appt ( I have a lot of anxiety about leaving the house). I hate that I feel this anxiety & never wanting to go anywhere.  I push myself to go do things over the weekend for my husband.  I was not like this before my diagnosis, I was an active person, always on the go & now I struggle to leave my house.  Sometimes I just feel like giving up & not take my Bosutinib, just let the leukemia do what it wants.  I suffer from a lot of side effects from bosutinib, as I'm sure you all experience side effects from the tki that you are on.  I feel so alone dealing with cml.  My family doesn't understand. For example, I will get asked to bring someone to the doctor, they live an hour away & I don't mind if I feel ok, but it's hard b/c this person needs to be dropped off, then I park the car & meet them.  I don't mean to sound insensitive, but it's really hard on me to help take care of someone else when I need help myself.  I never have help with going to the grocery or going to a doctor's appt.  I just want all of this to go away. Does anyone else feel this way?  I'm sorry this is a long post, I just needed to reach out to someone b/c I'm really struggling.  I'm looking into going to see a psychiatrist, maybe this time it will help?  (I saw a psychiatrist about 6 months after my diagnosis & they were not helpful at all).  Thanks for listening.