i would have to say in the beginning it made my faith plummet. i was mad and hurt, how could you do this to me? etc. etc.
but now i know God didn't do this to me. it happened, and in the chance he did, it was for me to learn something or someone to learn from me. i love God, Jesus was the best thing to happen to me. through Him i know everything is temporary, including MS. if it takes my legs or whatever so be it. we learn another way to live. i think we have to remember it could always be worse. i love children and there are a lot of them out here who have it way worse than me. i'm not saying i never feel pity for myself, i do. i still get mad or sad but when i come out of it i know Jesus suffered way more for me than i could ever feel.

My sister sent me an email today - and she's always so good at reminding me of things - when I'm in the "dumps" it seems to be that although I have stronge faith in the Lord, I forget the most important thing - and she said "draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you". I always forget that. I know it helps when I take the time to read small books, like God's Book of Promises, and try and keep simple things in my mind. I become overwhelmed with self-pitty and shame when I'm not feeling well, and you're so right - it could be so much worse - and there are those who suffer much more than I. Have a wonderful day everyone!!

My faith goes up and down. When my wife was first struck by Primary Progressive MS 11 years ago, my faith was strong and sustained me. Her's too. We agreed to pray for healing, but to add, Thy will be done.

As the years went by, and our lives became more and more restricted, I started to ask God more often, WHY? Why my wife? My faith faded, and eventually, I started to blame God, if not for causing the MS (there seems to be no one to blame...it just strikes at random) then at least He wouldn't heal her. This resentment led to doubt, then to disbelief and a type of hateful angrer toward God. In my anger, I just wanted to leave my wife...to escape the "MS Monster" and find my own happiness, alone, or with another, healthy woman. I fell headlong into sin.

But God didn't give up on me. He worked slowly, through wonderful books that he "just happened" to lead me to at the library, and through Christian radio stations, and through my own church. I've read C.S. Lewis, and Billy Graham, and Joyce Meyer, and Beth Moore, amoung others. And through this, I've seen the BRIGHT LIGHT of salvation like never before. In all my 50+ years of living as a Christian, I never before experienced the true value of Christ's rescue, the forgiveness that He alone, completely, earned for us...for ME. No more thinking "I'm a pretty good guy, been in the church every week for 50 years, never intentionally sinned, etc. etc." All my "good" is nothing but filthy rags. My recent rebellion and open sinning were proof. And NEVER did I ever appreciate Christ's love and forgiveness more than I do now. I still struggle, but I know God will never desert me.

How's that for a "short" answer?? HUGS to you for asking this important question.

Thank you all for responding to this question it is always an interesting one & never an easy one to answer. Thank you for all sharing such personal responses too. That is one way that we can understand each other more.

Sue

ChuckDG - I am moved by your humbleness, reaching out with your testimony about your life. It gives me pause, and makes me thankful that as yet, my husband has stuck by me. However, the really bad days are ahead of us.
Without these honest statements, I believe we would all continue to think "we're not so bad" when in essence we are all filthy rags before our Lord Jesus Christ. Thank GOD for his salvation. Christine

Sue thank you for this post and Chuck thank you for your answer. I must say I was feeling a little down today. I;m in a flare and I only have my 17 year old son to help and he cant leagaly drive yet.
My husband right now seems to be all those things you said chuck, only he hasn't been in the church for years.
He took a job over sea's over a month ago. He used to be in the Marines and I knew he missed it but once I got so sick I could tell he just became angry and angry at God. I am hurt that he left me for 6 months and I think it was very selfish of him...He made it seem like it was for the money but it doesnt pay hardly anymore.
He lives in a villa and he goes to the gym everyday and the pool and hangs out with the guys in his house.
It hurts my heart real bad...the more he hangs around these guys the farther he slips from his relationship with christ. He has called me twice drunk and he dont drink...i know he got tired of taking me to doctors and cooking and doing the bills...i'm too sick to do it all and from trying i'm down...he yelled at me last night on the phone and told me i didnt need to be doing anything..how does he think we can get groceries? dinner? bills paid? I really need prayer Chuck for my husband his name is scott..thanks
you guys have a blessed thanksgiving

I was one of those 'believe when its convenient' and not really knowing what and how to go about it. Within a few months after my MS diagnosis I felt that I needed something to hold onto, trying to understand why and how and what. My husband (a christian) bought me a beginner's Bible and we've been working on it since then. Its tough to break old habits, but I feel God working.

I am so pleased (?) that you have shared Catlover & Teekoa.
Tekoa it must be very hard with your husband having taken a job away from home & then phoning you drunk too. We will certainly pray for Scott as well as yourself. You are right its easy for others to say you dont need to do anything but the everyday things like groceries & bills do need to be done.
Catlover I am glad that your husband is leading you through the Bible & great that God is working in you too.
God Bless everyone
Sue

Thanks Sue, I guess I made my husband look kinda bad? He really is a great husband. When he was here he always came home from work and made me gourmet dinners and waited oon me, (Spoils me). He always took me to church and he pays his tithes..It's very true that who you hang around you become. I know if I get around ppl who aren't saved I tend to find myself talking about things I normally wouldn't...I think it must be very hard to be away from home and the ppl you love. I think I would get drunk too! Noah did after he seen all the death and knowing that God had sent a flood because we had become so wicked...Yep I think I would have got drunk too...

Dear Tekoa, You didnt make your hubby look bad, just said it as it is at the moment. It is very hard when a partner (hubby wife child) goes overseas to work for whatever reason. It must be hard for him with people who probably dont have anything to do when not working other than drink.
Lets pray he will be able to resist the drink in his time there, also that he will be able to get a job closer to home afterwards. We all know how hard the job situations can be worldwide at the moment. You are so right about Noah too.
God bless you.

Every situation that arises in life will either draw us closer or push us farther away. It is my prayer that every thing that comes into my life will draw me closer to the Lord. So...yes, I can honestly say that having M.S. has made my faith stronger. :o)

This is an important topic, thanks Sue for bringing it up. I grew up in church and accepted Christ at an early age. This didn't stop me from bad behavior and things that I'm ashamed of now. Even after marrying a Christian man I still tended to hold back and think that I could take care of myself without God unless things got really bad. I'm sure some of you have experienced similar times.

I called on God when things were scary like a near fatal accident with my father, my mother's heart attack, etc. But when things were back to normal I would let Him slip to the back of my mind never spending real time with Him. I would blame it on my lack of time and hectic schedule.

When I became ill with ms it took a very long time before it was diagnosed and I really didn't know what it was. I also almost drowned in our pool because of it. Once the diagnosis was in and I learned that I would not be able to return to work any longer, my first thought was "now you have the time for God".

I couldn't run away any longer. Being sick has given me a blessing that I never expected, the time to spend quietly with God. I could have been angry but what good would that have done? It is what it is. Was I angry all those years when I had good health? No. So why should I be angry now?

I have had so many blessings through the years and have taken them for granted. When I'm having a dark day my mind worries that my husband will tire of taking care of me but if that happens then I have to trust that God will suppy someone else to fill the gap. Hopefully that will never happen but we can't waste today worrying about tomorrow.

Tekoa, You are a gem of a lady who has untold pressures on you right now. You and your family have my prayers. Please know that all families go through trials and tribulations.

Chuck, You are a blessing to us all for your open, caring heart.

Thank you Slymis, I am right there with you on the dx thing. I too had to quit my job and that was the first thing I thought too! I now can get into the word of God and spend time with Christ. I have been dx with possible MS twice and then was dx this past Aug, with MS and then they took it away. I have been numb from the waist down and I have neurological bladder among other things but not the required amount of lesions. It has been one attack after another and I miss my husband so much.

well it has done that now since i couldnt wal for the last 7 days now i can God got my attention thats for sure, instead of asking him saying why me i said what do you want me to do now? big difference and he told me alot. made me see alot too. god is so good

I am praying that God would stay with Scott and remind him of his love for you, Tekoa.