I'm completely new to the online support community. So here's what brings me here. It hasn't been 2 full days since I ended a dating relationship with a daughter of God. I went into this relationship wanting to Honor God first, then her. And I did. I spent time with her personally. I talked to her pretty much every day for the last month and a half. I created a connection with her. Even if it was just the beginning stages of the relationship. I was resolute to not let it move too fast as she is quite busy in her last year of Pharmacy school.

It wasn't until the last few weeks that I started thinking that this could become something more long term. She's a healthy girl. She has a great supporting Christian family, which I wanted as I was saved at 14 and did not have. My Mom was saved until after my Dad passed away when I was 26. I'm 28 now. So, that is something I take very seriously. As I spent time with the family and her I grew that connection. Even though I never got to the "I love you" part of the relationship, I was feeling pretty good about where it was going. Until about a week ago.

I started sensing distance in our conversations. Our text messages during the day were less "conversational". Our phone calls in the afternoon were getting shorter. Even our last date, I could tell something was off. I tried to play it off because I knew she is getting ready to head to Cincinnati and Chillicothe for the next two months as part of her schooling. I figured it was just that stress and weight. However, Wednseday night the distance bothered me too much and I addressed it. When we talked, I tried to assure her that if it was school, I was aware of what she needed to do and wasn't going to go anywhere. I'm not the type of guy to go from one girl to the other. After I had said what I needed to say there was a pause. And then she said the words I did NOT want to hear. "I just don't think we're meant to be together". At that moment, I knew there was nothing I could say or do. I did my best to end the call and relationship in a respectful way.

The hurt came in right away. Here was a girl I had grown a connection with that I had shared life with and now it was over. I had relationships in the past, but this was my first where I truly put God first. So now, I know that God has ended this for a reason and I can learn from this. The pain is still there though. I am constantly feeling it in my heart like an arrow. Every time I feel it I give it over to God. It's very hard for me not to think of the girl or hope I hear from her. I know it's over and I have to move forward. But, to focus on the future and love God has for me is not a simple tast right now. I know it will be easier. But for now, I struggle with the pain.