soverysad.....Yeah, I hear ya! I'm doing that just now with the family photo albums. Marriage changed things our son - many, many blessings because of it as well as the negative of estrangement.

Wouldn't it be nice if we all had horrible pasts and then a changing point happened and nothing but good occurred after that? Then all of our "looking back" at the past events, and seeing that since life is good now, there would be nothing to fear for the future. BUT, life is not that way for us. It may be for some and I believe it is, just not for us. Yet, we do have so much to look forward to when you think about all the blessings we do have because of Christ in our lives, but looking forward is with a different view and a different perspective. Don't you think?

When I was much younger I thought life was supposed to go smoothly especially as a Christian. What was I thinking? God even said in His Word "In this world there will be tribulation". Praise God we have Jesus. We are surely not in Heaven yet.

I know exactly when our estrangement began. Our daughter was targeted by a then married man when she went to college. He divorced his wife, whom he'd been cheating on, within 6 weeks and had her under his spell before we even knew his name. In all, it took only 6 months for her to disappear from our lives. She was 17, he 27. He controls every move she makes. She's too young to realize it's not love and he has cut her off from everyone who would speak the truth to her and surrounded her with his empaths while spreading lies about our family.

I am curious if most here can tie estrangements to a relationship with the EC? We let our daughters move in with us after he was kicked out of his home. We had strict rules....curfew for her, time they must be in their own rooms, etc. He was not very motivated. Did not contribute to the house. We had told him that once he was working full time he would be expected to pay rent until he found his own place. Well he went full time and any conversation about him paying rent brought arguements and disdain from our daughter. Then the rules were being broken. And then the day came out of the blue to us......boom, her life with me was terrible (although she was given everything, we attended everything, she had no chores, we fought her battles, etc) and she was moving out with him and the estrangement began. We have always tied it to him, but they have since broke up.....she has a new boyfriend and my dysfunctional family has surrogated this. But in hindsight, it began with him.....whom she had an unhealthy attachment to. But then why did the estrangement no stop when that relationship ended?

So sorry to say but probably she just found another enabler (the second boyfriend) which allows her to stay in her entitlement mode...and when extended family step in as additional enablers of her and second boyfriend...your daughter (and my daughter and all of our children) are responsible for their own actions...others just enable and we blame the others. Of course the enablers deserve blame ...for enabling bad behaviours...our estranged children are responsible for THE ACTIONS. As mothers thats a hard one...place blame and responsibility upon the very ones we love the most...our children. But that is where it begins...with them.

Blessings
AllK

Yes Our ED was enabled by a former bf and his father to be able to estrange but she have them the fuel (lies) to start the fire. She is accountable to God and family.

My ED was really good at art. I have some that are really special to me and will always be. I just cannot take them down yet. I don't know exactly when it all changed for us, it seems as though she was always like that. They did not call it ADD when she was young but looking back, it was there all along.

Everything l have read in this group, makes me pleased to know such fine strong people. We all know the good and bad days come and go, but it is sure nice to visit this site . I have been feeling so much better.

I understand DoverFox, Our ED has the gift of singing. She sang in churches and every time I hear one of the songs she sang I get sad for what is not happening now. Maybe, I should not get sad, but I do. They call it grieving our losses. I am thankful I have the Lord to turn towards. This is a special place, as well.

I know exactly when we lost our son. When he reunited with his high school love (she broke up with him in HS because she was not a Christian and he wanted her to go to church).

She lied about her growing up, she mocked our faith, she demanded money from us for their wedding, and she swore at us when she didn't get her way. I can honestly say I hated her. I do not hate her any longer. I pray for her. If she and my ES came to the Lord, I would be so happy. But until she and my ES reconnect with us, all I can do is pray. They both have hard hearts for our family and now I have heard she is mad at her family also. The narcisstic personality disorder she has makes it difficult to have a relationship with her.

Prayers -

OMGOSH yes me too....I do the same thing...I have these beautiful loving cards my son gave me.....and all the wonderful times we used to have before the GF came and ruined it all.....but I don't blame her.....my son chose her......my son continues to choose her.....and continues to treat me like crap......she is not forcing him to treat me like crap......so I either blame myself for failing somewhere along the way in my parenting or I blame him ...but I do feel he is somewhat brainwashed by her.......it is breaking my heart in a million pieces....

These estranged kids , twisted and betrayed, mislead , allowing themselves to be controlled by someone who really doesnt have their best at heart,,under a decieving spell,,, May be in some way, God is showing just how easy it will be ,to be mislead by the Antichrist..