When I'm asked about my children, I tell them I have three, two daughters and one son. If pressed for details, I tell them where they live and how many children they have. I don't volunteer information. So I think most of them think everything's just fine. The ones who know things aren't fine, don't usually ask much, thank goodness. But I can tell they are perplexed, wondering how can a Christian family have such problems.
You're fortunate to be living somewhere new, where you can choose what people know about you. If I were you, I wouldn't be sharing too much with people I barely know. There are a lot of pompous, self-righteous, judgmental Christian snobs out there. Wow - I hope I don't sound too cynical :)
Have fun making new friends - just choose wisely.

I agree with barby. Chose wisely who knows what about your EC's. I do the same as barby and do not offer information. If pressed, I've said things like "Our experiences as parents are all so different". or "My kids are very involved with their own lives so I don't see them as much asHo I would like". Sometimes other parents open up and share their own sad stories, but i have learned to still be careful not to take that as a signal to share my own pain.

How wonderful to move to a new town and meet new people. I surely agree that I would not share about estrangement for your own sake and peace. It is possible to answer about all your children when asked without giving details. Most people although they mean we'll do not understand. God bless you in this new place.

Barbyzhere, I'm right there with you on the judgmental Christians! When we first lost or daughter 2 1/2 years ago I had a head time not talking about it. Now I am very picky about who I talk to in order to guard my own heart from further pain!

Thank you all for sharing your wisdom. I will take your advise!

I should have taken your advice on here and not told that woman today about my DIL abuse issue

I sometimes wish I could move to a new town. Everyone here knows we have four children but not everyone knows about the estrangement. The worst is when I run into some of ESs old friends or their parents. The always ask about him. And believe me, they would be shocked at the truth because he was a wonderful kid growing up. Not one bit of teenage rebellion... Nothing. So I just say he's married, he's a lawyer, and he is living in another state and we don't get to see him much. I don't add "at all"....and then I quickly change the subject.

I agree to tell a few details but nothing specific about estrangement. When asked I used to say my son was doing well, working, going to school, had just gotten married, was very busy all the time. I didn't tell them we didn't see each other. I don't let stranger in to very personal things like that.

Agreed!

In my opinion, you are not under any obligation to tell all this to new acquaintances unless you feel led by God to. Enjoy your new home!

Do as God leads you. There were times I was led to share and met others going through the same thing. We're very close now.

People in the church don't often understand the pain estranged parents feel. I am thankful to have found a small church that magnifies Christ's love to all the hurting souls ... regardless of the hurt's 'name' ... my husband and I pray for the salvation of all the kids and grandchildren, for restoration of relationship with us. The lack of response to any attempts to converse or see the girls grow is met with silence and has been for several years. It is hard, but I have to focus on what God has for me, my marriage and the one child and grandchild who are closer to us. Rejection is very painful no matter where it comes from. I just have to remember that there must be a deep hurt in my estranged child that keeps her and her daughters from us. She's never been much of a communicator.

I keep the answers short and simple and move on to the next topic

It is hard and people don't understand. They assume it is our fault somehow so I try not to say much.