CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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gordos4 01/11/2014

Does anyone else find weekends especially difficult? There isn't near enough to do where I don't constantly think of my son. My hubby is a major home-body & doesn't like to go anywhere. We don't have the money anyway. We have been helping my 19 year old, which is fine & normal. They all 4 got help in college. I usually dream vividly at night. The more I pray, the less vivid my dreams get. Ive had some doozies! I have been told I need to journal my dreams, but I don't even want to think about most of them, let alone write them down.
I don't know how many of you all struggle with depression along with estrangement, but it has been a long road for me. I keep praying to God for guidance, & maybe his signs are too subtle for me. I want so badly to live a happy life. My depression didn't reach it's peak until my kids got older, & my youngest moved out. The last 5 years have been the worst.
Every time my oldest berates me, which has been every 6 months or so for the last 10 years, it gets a little worse. I am learning how to not let it affect me so bad. He had me convinced for years that I was the most dysfunctional mother on earth. Now he wants to move home with me?? It boggles my mind. Hoping this weekend isn't as bad as they have been recently.

deleted_user 01/11/2014

Boy id certainly confront him about his abuse, he has nerve but no humility. Ive been struggling, its my weekend off and again im immobile, id feel better moving..I think we just need to keep pushing along, the winter days are worse, no sun.

gordos4 01/11/2014

I have confronted him many times..he blames me for our dysfunctional relationship. I know what you mean about the pushing along. I try to find things to do so I wont have any long periods of spare time.

sadmad11 01/11/2014

The best part of the weekend is our church worship service. I find that I look forward to that most of the week. Since I've been retired from my work in the schools..I don't see people too often and get lonely unless I see people when I walk my dog of get groceries at the food stores. I do however find that being in worship on Sunday morning helps me the most because it helps me get focused on God and less on my problems. I also love to attend a mid-week Ladies' Bible study, and have bonded with a few ladies there who also have more time on their hands during the week. Life has it's cycles, and I'm in the "slow down cycle" right now. I look back at years past when I hardly had a minute to myself with all the activities I was into..and now I'm looking at finding more value to my days by being more intentional..and yes..quieter. Slowing down can be difficult for some people...especially if you've been used to being a very busy person.

Hope you are able to worship somewhere tomorrow gordos...I do understand how difficult weekends can be, but I find the weekdays harder because I'm alone more then. Praying for you today...
Maddie

gordos4 01/11/2014

Hi Maddie,
Yes, I am Catholic & go to mass every Saturday night. I look forward to it also. Our priest isn't very inspiring, but I don't go just for that. Hope you have a good weekend.

Norske1 01/11/2014

Maddie - boy do I understand what you are saying about being retired. I used to awake at 4:40 am, get ready for work, get home around 5, stop to exercise, make dinner, check homework, go to the kids' sports activities, scouts, do the usual household stuff during the week so our weekends we could play. And I worked in an environment that was very fast paced and a bit stressful, but always had people to chat with.

When I retired - wow - my DH isn't much of a talker and it was so quiet. I finally joined Curves where I met amazing women and it was almost social, not exercise. Then I got involved with a new church, more new friends, various church small groups, joined a garden club, and now my days are fuller.

But I do remember my mom saying to me when we were raising our children and life was so hectic: "enjoy these days, there are none better." She was right. I loved being a mom and my kids loved me so I just figured when they became adults that would continue, their spouses would love me and my grandchildren would love me. Hummm.......

lindajoan 01/11/2014

I have found that in the past 2 years that work has been a blessing in disguise. I went from part-time to full-time this year. It is more tiring but less time to dwell on estrangement is best for me. As long as I have time with the Lord each day which is vital to my focus. Of course coming here to visit with others who understand is a blessing each day.

Exercise has also been a help mentally. I enjoy taking the exercise classes. A weekly Bible Women's Bible study (when I was not working) was always a joy. Everyone likes different things. The weekly church service with the fellowship of others fills our soul.

Gordos, I agree that when there is less happening (weekends for some) or less to do that the enemy takes advantage of that time in our lives.

soverysadmom 01/13/2014

Definitely nights and weekends are the worst and I have terrible nightmares since this mess started. I have work during the day which is a help and have recently taken up exercise since my doctor said this will help depression. I do have church and choir to look forward to. Also we joined a community choir. Singing has been a help for my depression. Prayers to all. It's so sad that we have to go through this torment.

gordos4 01/13/2014

I know soverysad, if I didn't have God to lean on, I would have lost it a long time ago. He has been my only strength & hope.

itsjustsinclair 01/14/2014

I've always envied Catholics their Saturday night mass. It's such a wonderful way to end the week.

Well I think you need a Sunday routine that you never, ever fail to act on. Here's two that cost near-nothing.

Is there a soup kitchen that has trouble finding Sunday morning help?
Can your priest identify someone who goes to Sunday mass and needs a ride there and back? Whilst you wait maybe you could be a volunteer grocery shopper for a shut-in. It's a simple way to give someone a small blessing....we can get the service, but it's pricey and there's a min $$ that has to be spent.

As for dream journals...yeesh, go with your own gut instincts on that, but my two cents worth is that your real world is complicated enough.

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