Do grand parents have legal rights in your State? Some States don't give grands any rights...I don't know but that what I understand. Praying for you..

They just passed a law in Florida but, sorry, edr1961....not in New Jersey. You can look it up on internet but, basically, if parents don't want you to see them, court cannot force them. There are "some" exceptions, i.e. you had to have actually raised them for some time, etc.

And, first-hand, my sister-in-law went to court a few years ago and she was told that she could go through a lengthy process and lots of money trying to prove dil unfit but, no guarantees.

Also, we had two boys over our house this summer (13 and 15) who have not seen their grandmother. We don't know all the details, but it was obvious the boys were told things but never experienced anything negative with grandmother. She went to court to try and get visitation and the boys were angry about that. They saw her as going against their father. Such a sensitive issue and, like so many things in estrangement, can be misconstrued.

Pray and seek God's direction.

yes you should get someone to help you ....a lawyer would be best....Grandparents Have rights....look it up....they cannot stop you from seeing the grandkids......it is the law........especially if you have ever seen them...in cases where the person has never had a relationship with the Grandkids it would be harder to get the visitation but not impossible......but if you did have a past of seeing them and visiting with them.....then they have to let you see them....good luck and I hope you can find someone there to help you.....

Last time I did the search, I found very few states acknowledge g.parents rights. My state is similar to Ironcowgirl's. Even if there were rights, there are consequences that you should think about. You may be entering into a situation similar to many divorced couples in regards to visitation. I am not sure I would if I had the opportunity. I would never cause problems for my gc. Of course, I dislike the idea they may feel I deserted them, but I just pray when they are old enough to comprehend , I will be given a chance to explain. The story in the Bible about the 2 women claiming to be the child's mother comes to mind. The one that said to give the child to the other was awarded the child. It seems that our gc our used as pawns to punish us. If legally we were given visitation, most of our ec would be furious and the gc would feel the tension and be torn between us and their parents. Not a good mental situation for them. Again, estrangement is not fair and we somehow get the short end of the stick everytime.

I did investigate this in the beginning of my estrangement. Unfortunately, most states do not recognize the grandparents rights in a court of law unless you once had partial custody, watched them on a regular basis while parents worked, etc.... states do differ though, but basically, if the parents don't want the grandparents to have visitation, the court will rule in their favor.
My state did just change this law, and there is some hope for estranged GP, but my ED no longer lives here.

I thought i was reading it right about nj and gp rights,and also dil her sister kept gc from there mother,my son paid a lawyer for them and they lost,but i was thinking maybe a medator would help,maybe not.i am afraid we may go to far,and mess any kind of visitation son/dil might think about letting us have,this is just a bunch of hogwash we have to beg.Thank you all so very much. all we can do is pray

I think it is best to comit this to prayer. I am so sorry you are going through this sadness over your gs. If the Lord leads you and DH to reach out to your ES again I pray he will realize how important you are to this child.

edr1961...a mediator is not an option in these types of cases. The court appoints them (in NJ) in municipal court cases, small claims, etc. to alleviate the number of hearings. You and I both live in NJ and I am familiar with the law and, sadly, there are just no grandparent rights. Oh, attorneys will be willing to take the case and give you some encouragement but, honestly, the law is the law. And, again, you have no idea what impact it would have on the total estrangement.

I agree with lindajoan. Pray, pray, pray and stay in the Word to seek God's wisdom. I know your heart is broken and we all want to make something happen but, many times, we really have to wait (and that is so hard).

I agree with Faith 304 re the story of the two women both claiming the boy was theirs (1Kings3:16-1Kings3:28). I think if you read it, you will be comforted. Like the first woman, we will do the right thing re our grands, even if we hurt from it, because we love them so much. And, in the end, the King gave the boy to his rightful mother. Don't you think God will honor us someday if we sacrifice our personal desires to be obedient to Him?

Bottom line is, in spite of our estrangements, it is really about our personal relationship with Jesus. I know, personally, there were times I lost sight of that because of my heartache and just wanting reconciliation. Then I remembered it was not about my timeframe but, rather, God's timing. And His is always perfect.

Praying you receive the wisdom and direction you are so desiring. Prayers and hugs.........

beautifully put, IronCowgirl! In the world we are living in, prayer is the key to everything. We need more then ever before to pray before we speak or react. For every action there is a reaction and sadly, it is usually not the reaction we expect. Only God can produce the perfect results and he doesn't need our help.
Your wanting to fight for the right to have visitation with your gs is commendable and shows your love for him. I had the same idea, but God has changed my mind. He knows our heartache. Continue praying! God is the great counselor and he does all things good. Sometimes it seems so unfair, but we have to trust in his wisdom and direction. Once I got beyond the vengeance, I could see how greater this estrangement would become.
For what it is worth.... You are not alone and only a grandparent deprived from seeing their gc can understand outside of God.

Yes i agree with all of you,and i know each and everyone of you good friends,know exactly how and what i am feeling in my heart. And yes we text our son last night again and asked" Could he and dil tell us why they wont let us see our gs" and again no response.I know my son days off from work and i think well maybe today he will come and bring our gs by,i continue to buy his banannas wkly and throw them out cause they go bad he loves them and then he grabs a bag and takes the rest home and always goes in fridge and fills his bag with apples,oranges and he has a goody bag and gets to pick a little toy out each time he goes home. Thank you for listening it makes me feel good to remember the fun times.

We live in OH and don't have GP rights unless the children are being harmed or parent is unfit. There seem to be many states like ours. I desperately wanted to do something since ES is our only child but the situation just doesn't fit the criteria. Pray and pray. My prayers are with you and all of us here who are hurting so very much

thank you all,prayers with all of you to