CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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barbyzhere 08/05/2015

Thank you so much for your feedback and suggestions! My DH and I have taken baby steps in communicating with our ES and I'm so glad we have. Apparently, we have gotten nowhere. He still believes we are pond scum. Yet he wants to reconnect?? I agree with the other topic stating that without certain things there can be no reconciliation. Why would I want to engage with someone, anyone, who thinks I am Satan's sister? Our grandchildren are being used as pawns. Sorry, I don't play chess.

butterfleye 08/05/2015

totally understand and would feel the same way if i were in your shoes!

lindajoan 08/05/2015

So sorry Barbyz. There can be no true reconciliation if someone is still being so disrespectful to their parents. The two are contradictory. With any reconnection with an EC I agree with baby steps and lots of prayer.

Sommersmom 08/05/2015

I'm sorry barbyz. My ED used to come in and out of my life whenever she needed money, or had just been evicted from yet another apartment, and needed the security payment for a new landlord. I fell for it several times, just grateful to have her and my small grandchildren in my life following a painful divorce from her dad that left the family fractured.

Finally, when I realized neither she or my SIL maintained employment, and continued trashing their apartments, leading to evictions, I was unwilling to help them with a third security deposit when my SIL called me after months of not hearing from them. I told them that I could no longer help financially support their bad behavior, especially since they didn't find it necessary to stay in touch when they weren't in need of assistance. That was the last time I heard from them. It was 6 years ago now. It has woken me up though..... as soon as the tap was dry, I was discarded.

It was a good lesson for me to learn, though. I agree with you barbyz.... I don't play chess either.

MariaStevie 08/05/2015

Having remorse is owning up to one's wrong actions. In healthy relationships, each person has to honestly own their actions.

barbyzhere 08/06/2015

At this time, the baby steps haven't brought us any closer. My DH has informed our ES today that in light of his continued anger and accusations, we wish to keep our relationship on hold. Wow! Who would have thought we would say that? I always thought I'd do almost anything to get him back in my life. Now I know I can't. I refuse to sell my soul for a relationship with him. I will love him forever, and his wonderful family, 3 grandchildren of ours, but I will love them from a distance. I bring them to God, place them in His loving care, pray for them faithfully, and walk away. Now I'm looking for ways to fill my life with something happy. I'm buying a new sewing machine and developing a new hobby. My neighbour has tried to get me into quilting, and maybe I'll give that a try. My two daughters and their children will be the focus of my time and love.

lindajoan 08/06/2015

My prayer is that your ES will wake up and see what he is doing and that the Lord will work in his heart. God is able.

Until then, enjoy your new hobby. Please stay close to us. We appreciate your wisdom.

butterfleye 08/09/2015

Thank God you have your two daughters and their children to pour your love into. But do, focus on your marriage and how to make that awesome and adult childproof, and a project that you can find pleasure and meaning in outside the family,

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