CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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/ CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Support Group

Two year anniversary yesterday

rosearch
rosearch
It was two years ago yesterday that our then 18 year old daughter ran off to live with a man 10 years her senior who divorced his first wife of 6 years to ensnare her. She had never had a boyfriend and had been the best daughter anyone could have hoped for. This was all done with the knowledge and approval of the two pastors of the church this man attends. It just ,makes me sick to even recall all the perversion of not just my child, but the word of God. Though she is married to him now, he is a controlling narcissist. We (my husband - her father) and I have made multiple attempts to reconcile and since they both profess to be Christians, we have appealed to them on biblical grounds too but to no avail. It is amazing how someone intent on getting and keeping what he wants at all costs can manipulate and twist people and the scriptures as this man does. I do not consider him a fellow Christian because of the fruit he bears. I am disillusioned with the "church" at large because of this and the response of one of our elders who we went to for help. I admit that I almost lost my faith in God being "good" through this ordeal, but he is so faithful and stayed with me through my season of doubt and I praise him for this. I still miss our ED very much and pray everyday that she will come to her senses and repent. I have given up completely now in my own abilities to bring about change and placed all my hope in the power of God. I know that I am powerless to make the kind of change that is needed in her heart. Thank you all for sharing your lives with me. Your words have encouraged me and helped me accept reality and prepare for what the future may or may not hold. Just wanted to share where I'm at. Blessings to you all.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That church and pastors will not be honored by God. Stand firm in your faith and God's word/truth. the true colors will reveal themselves. Im so sorry you have gone thru this you arent alone..That church is not representing God, just their own agenda. I know all too well the deception behind some pulpits,, the church is being gleaned,,, stand strong in Gods shadow,, huggs Robin
GuelsMom
GuelsMom
rosearch....Thank you for sharing this update. I wish for your sake, it would have been a more positive outcome for you to report. But, as the old saying goes, "it is what it is." It is one of those things that us parents would LOVE to change but have to accept that we can't. If we intend to have our kids in our lives we have to allow them to make their mistakes just as we made our own mistakes along the path of life. Just as you did, we can try to talk some common sense into them but then we have to step aside and let the parental advice rest for a while. In time, they may recall those words and come back to a better relationship later on down the road. It sounds like you know already that this is the best course of action for you. You are very wise and your ED should know that by now.

God Bless,
lindajoan
lindajoan
God bless you rosearch. We are also just past the two year mark. We as you did tried almost everything to reach out except for giving requested money. We as you have said were also disillusioned by the way certain churches handled our ED and knowledge of her leaving home at age 20. The young college pastors did more harm than good. DH and I knew they were not acting in accordance with God's way so how could we blame God. Estrangement is sin. It is of the enemy.

I also came to the truth that only God can change out EC's hearts. We can pray that one day our EC will hear God's voice and obey it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
rosearch, I enjoyed reading your post. What you say is so very true, relationships will come and go; they are seasonal God is constant, His desire is to be our first LOVE.

It is wonderful to hear so many of you are choosing to move on in a positive way in spite of our circumstances. Thank you everyone for your wonderful and hopeful comments. It is a strength to all of us here I think.

I am thankful for you all here on this site, it has been a great source of comfort for me to read your many posts.
lindajoan
lindajoan
Amen to this place and the support of those who really understand the sadness and pain of estrangement. We will take one day at a time with God's strength and prayer.
soverysadmom
soverysadmom
Hugs and prayers to you Rosearch. Some of the deepest wounds I have came from church friends and pastors. I can expect cruel treatment from the world but when pastors hurt me, it is hard to understand. We have reached out for help from them but to no avail.
martha2014
martha2014
I can feel your pain rosearch but you have no control over the situation, as you said you have tried everything you could think of I did that too. But then I handed it over to the Lord. You waht Jesus said about false teachers & they are a dime adozen & literally everywhere but sooner or later i hope sooner for your sake his dragon is going to push her to far & she is going to realize everything you & your husband have ssaid is true My mother was called home before I married tha EVIL LITTLE TROLL or she would have sent him running the 1st time he showed up on R doorstep. And once I was married to him there was not much my dad could do. BUT you & your husband are both here & you have the real God on your side. it may be a long road & it will definately be a tough one esp. at bithdays & holidays but 1 thing about R GOD is R God is an awesome God & he reins from Heaven above BUT He travels on the darl & lonely road WITH us. He is never more than a prayer away. Remember that every morning & every night lay her at the Master's feet then pick up the pieces of your shattered life & move on & don't tell me U can't do it U have 1 ED I had 3. As long as you mourn her loss from your life your heart will remain crushed & torn. Remember waht Paul said "We REJOICE in R sufferings for suffering produce perserverance, perseverance produces character & character produces HOPE which for us here is the Lord Jesus Christ. You will get through this my friend I lost 3 but 1 came back 2 me 4 a yr. before she was promoted to Heaven & my son who has been like a yo-yo in& out, in& out, in& out, 4 the last 20 yrs is back in with a NBB my 2nd GS so I only have 1 to go. We R mothers, we Rpray warriors & we R survivors! Take a deep breath my friend & give it 2 the Lord. love martha