Yes it is soverysadmom - it is very hard to take. Which is why, since Thanksgiving, I've pretty much kept to myself and away from church and all the other functions I normally go to. But that's OK - it's OK for me to do what I have to do, and you too, to manage this time the best we can for ourselves. I've had some serious bouts of tears lately - just sobbing to God over how hard this is - crying out to Him to comfort me and to please draw my family to Him. This holiday season, I just need God more than anyone or anything else. He understands our pain and is our shelter to run to in this mad, mad, mad world! He is drawing me closer to Him and that is always a good thing.

I'm so very grateful to have all of you here too!

Love,
MG

I too have feelings of anxiety that will arise in me from time to time. I haven't had any dreams lately about ES, but I have had some in the past. You all know I have said this was the second Christmas where I didn't hang his stocking with the others. Well my oldest son was over the other day and he wanted me to hang his brother's up with the rest. I told him I didn't do it last year and he never said anything so why now? I guess he didn't notice last year? Anyway, I put it up hastily, but it made me sad again, and I had been doing so well. We are having our Christmas with his family on tuesday because after that they are going to his wife's family, so I think after he leaves I will take it down. My daughter agreed with me it is sad for her to see it hanging there as well.

The absolute most difficult thing about Christmas will be how much we miss the grandchildren. I've been crying and praying and praying and crying. I realize only God is In control and not me. But, it still doesn't mean we don't miss our loved ones so very much. I have been through the deaths of both my parents, my in-laws and my brother al of whom I loved so very much. But this by far is the most difficult because ES does have a choice and we are not even considered. Prayers for all who are going through this horrible pain

Yes Eatrangement in many ways is harder than a death. The Lord will be our Prince of peace. We have one another which is a blessing. We can really say we understand.

I feel for each and everyone for the pain,and pray that we can all get through this.

It is comforting to know that we're not alone through this. We have our Lord, and we have one another.

The grieving is real, and the expectations of the holidays intensify the pain...sometimes to unbearable levels. It's through these times that we must purpose to rest in our Heavenly Father's arms. He is our only real comforter and peace maker and He has allowed us all to connect on this forum for a reason-- we can understand each other and lift each other up. Such a blessing.

Thankful for this place and the caring and understanding. I need prayer for strength . Pray for me to appreciate the joy that others have and that envy will not be my downfall. I love our Lord Jesus christ with all my heart and soul. I'm just so very tired of this pain.

It is so much easier for us since we just let go of our two EC and decided to live out our remaining years in peace. It takes awhile for a person to come to the realization that if they loved us and most of all JESUS they would not treat us the way they did. Just wish I would have been prepared for it sooner, then the shock would have not happened.

You are all so loving and kind. It is a real blessing to be in a group like this for sure.

It is such a hard time of year to be going through these times. I just try to think about the good times in the past and be thankful that I had them. Even if my ES brings me pain now, he did bring such joy in my life and I am very grateful.
I know that God is working this out in my life for my good and I just keep hoping that I will see the fruit that it produces in the future. God loves us and he is doing what is best for us - so hard to see sometimes.
I will pray for your heart to feel peace from his love for you.

Thank you everyone for your love and support. This has definitely been even harder than the deaths of my parents and that was pretty hard. I will be praying for all of us, especially in the next few days. I have cried out to the Lord and he has helped me.