CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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dmw56 05/13/2016

Well, much to my surprise, I received a short text message on Mother's Day from my ED who has been like an ion wall of cold silence for more than 3 years. It has been even longer since I received a birthday, or any other holiday greeting. She wouldn't let us see our Grandchildren(never saw her son ever), was criticized for texting her-then blocked-on and on -you all know the pattern. I have been praying for my family to be healed and you would think I would be happier. Part of the problem could be that it was only a generic 2 line Happy Mother's Day and now what? It feels like a trap if I respond, past just the message that I appreciated the greeting and wished her a nice Mother's day too! (which I sent right back on Mother's day). Something has shifted, but there are no rules in this game and I feel strange about it. My other dd said don't think anything negative, ok, , but I don't know what to do or how to act. She lives in another state and knowing her, this was just so she can tell people that she does communicate with me. Any thoughts and of course prayers much appreciated

faith304 05/13/2016

I agree, don't think negative. We tend to put our guard up when we finally hear from them afraid of being hurt all over again. If we pray and ask God for healing, there has to be a start. The father met his prodigal son, placed a ring on his finger, clothed him in the best, and then threw a feast in celebration. I wouldn't go that far yet.. LOL....I would write her and ask her what she would like to have happen in a relationship with you and family? Take it slow, calm. Being too anxious tends to make them think we will accept any behavior, etc from them . I believe it is has to be a mutual agreement and all must have respect for each other in word and actions. I would think you would detect remorse in her words or conversation you might have with her. Without that, you will be walking on eggshells. Keep praying for guidance and wisdom.
I pray this is the beginning of restoration for your family and will keep you in my prayers.

lindajoan 05/13/2016

I think it is a good sign that your ed wrote an email. I think you responded in just the right way, too. It seems it is best to take baby steps when there is an open window. Now continue to pray that she may communicate again in God's timing. It is normal you would feel cautious because our EC have put us through so much and we desire peace with them and for ourselves.

God bless you. We are supporting you in prayer.

IronCowgirl 05/13/2016

Dmw56, I think it was wonderful your ED texted you for Mother's Day and I think your simple reply back was perfect. She took the initiative and, as hard as it may now be, I would wait for her to communicate with you again, if that is her desire. Only time will tell. If you have attempted communicating in the past and she blocked you, etc., I really would "wait" and see what her intent is. You don't want to push her away.

I also doubt her text had anything to do with anyone else. If she wanted to "tell people that she does communicate" with you, she would have sent you a text or e-mail long before this. I would take this as a positive sign...... that she is thinking about you but is just not sure what to do yet. Definitely baby steps as lindajoan said, but that is such a good thing.

I would continue praying and waiting. It appears God is in control and He is doing a work in your ED. I have had a few encouragements lately, but I don't want to interfere with what God is doing. I would accept the gift He has given you and trust that ".....he who began a good work will see it to completion..." Phil. 1:6

dmw56 05/16/2016

Thank you for the caring and wise suggestions. I will consider all of them highly and will keep you posted. I appreciate you all.

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