Maria - thank you for this.

I tried to share pretty much this very thing and those scriptures with my husband. He wasn't and probably still isn't at a point of hearing any of it. I know I have to keep trying in some way although it may have to be mostly through my own actions and not nagging him with scripture. It may be time to point it all out again though - who knows. I'll defintely pray about it and ask for guidance.

Maria....Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is wonderful. I love the website too. I'll read it more thoroughly in the morning though. (bedtime).

dogpack....my pastor said something to me a long time ago that I have not forgotten and that is that all those chapter headings, crossreferences, chapter numbers and the sentences divided into verse numbers were all made by man. They were inserted to make it easy to refer to but the original manuscripts were no different than us writing a letter to someone. Therefore, when we are talking to anyone that we feel may be inhibited or turned of if we say; "Well, John 3:16 says...." Instead, in a conversation, simply put the intent of the passing into the conversation in a manner that gets the message across but does not turn the person off.

The pastor I have now pretty much said the same thing...."Live by example and if you HAVE TO, add some words to it." In other words, actions speak louder than words.

Truthfully though, I try to do that but have to remember to do it more often than I do.

I looked at these again and they are tough to do. I added my own little thing next to these to which maybe some of you can relate

1.Parents cannot give up. - (But we have to listen to God's guidance on when and how to proceed and not let ourselves be mistreated)
2.Parents cannot cut off all contact - (They cut us off, so while we don't have to do the same, we can't make them reconnect but we can leave the door open)
3.Parents cannot negate the wrong choices (I take this to mean we can't change what they did wrong or what we did wrong and in both cases we have to own our choices and they theirs)
4.Parents cannot reverse the damages (we can't reverse the damage we caused nor can they, but we can forgive and move forward)

dogpack, that is very good information and its good that members like you share these things that may help some if not all. Thanks again for sharing that and putting down the scriptures for us.

Moriah, I GET YOU! It is important to have conversation, relate to the individual, and sometimes get the message across differently so they can understand. Showing by using your time, especially time, energy, resources, a card, flowers, or cooking a meal for someone that is sick, speaks volumes!

When I was a new Christian I think I bombarded people with lots of scriptures thinking that the scriptures would somehow magically get them saved right away. But I learned the hard way and many thought I lost it and turned away. Now its very calm, and in conversation I provoke some challenges but by my actions is what they see. Its what I saw in a couple years ago that got me so curious because I wanted what they had.

Both have worked in God's "timing" that was appropriate. Even when my EC was sooooooooooo estranged and saying she was a Christian, scriptures did not help. She actually is starting to respond to my emails if I don't talk about anything in the past. Its an odd feeling because I have to bite my tongue for one, and I get this feeling of "walking on eggshells" again. But small two liners seems to be working.

Unfortunately, there are no "cookie cutter" solutions for everyone. We all have our own battles and hurts and stages of the estrangement that has helped me to be more sensitive, patient, understanding and gentle with others. Many are here for healing and if I can help the parent who is struggling with the many emotions and feelings that come with estrangement through God's leading, I am only a vessel for Him to use as He pleases.

I am Thankful for the many diverse opinions and information that is given to many of us on this site. For we learn together and overcome together as sisters and brothers in the Lord.