Hi everyone.. I'm new to the group, & God has graciously brought me through a painful divorce - it's been 3 years since my pastor husband left. I have wonderful Christian parents & enjoy a very close relationship with both my sister & brother. Unfortunately (& there certainly is dysfunction), our adult daughter has severed her relationship with me. Our 19-yr old son lives with me now, & our relationship has sort of shifted from that of just 'mom' into one of mutual respect, accountability & responsibility. I'd hoped for this  with my daughter, but she moved out the week after her HS graduation. A year ago she came to my house to pick up a dresser from her room, & within minutes of leaving the driveway, she sent me a text that I can only describe as the nastiest, meanest, most disrespectful words I've heard from her mouth.. I was in complete disbelief.. I've respected her wishes to never hear from her again, but yesterday I found myself once again pleading with God for strength & direction. 

My sister & I had lunch yesterday, & my brother had let it slip that my daughter met my sister & niece for dinner 1 month ago. Since I receive no word on my daughter's well being from her dad, & it's not fair to expect 'reports' from my son, I was floored. I was apprehensive about the meal, since I had a pretty much perfect sister growing up.. God has blessed her obedience & she's been a good steward of the finances she's been afforded (our family has always been about what's right vs what's not right according to the Bible).

Anyway, I told her that I would've appreciated a call or text - "we met __ for dinner, she looked okay; she just talked about her bf" - Anything... instead she reacted in defense, something completely out of character for her.. when I realized I wouldn't be able to make her understand the pain of the estrangement, I changed the subject, & the rest of the lunch was enjoyable. I prayed about it (pretty much the rest of the day), asking God if my reaction was wrong, what was reasonable, or if my sister felt convicted that she'd handled it inappropriately. Her justification for not telling me was the most puzzling though. She said she wasn't going to get involved in our problem (which is completely out if character for her, although she's not a gossip, she genuinely wants to help). I responded by telling her that meeting for dinner at __'s request, WAS (however slightly) getting involved. 

Sometimes life is uncomfortable & painful, & siblings are just as capable of disappointing us as anyone else.. Time will tell if this was a right or wrong decision on her part (& I certainly won't lose my sister over one error in judgment. Even though I'd like to feel justified in my reaction, I have to separate emotion from right/wrong. I keep asking God, what reasons was it right or wrong?  

Thanks for letting me share..