CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
When it became apparent that our ES and DIL wanted nothing to do with us, told us to never contact them again, we decided to change our Will.
Since I have worked in a law firm for 40 years, I sought the advice of an estate partner. My idea was to write my Will with the provision that if our DIL was no longer in my ES's life, we would want him in our Will but if they continue to be estranged, I did not want my DIL to inherit any of our investments since she was the one who made our son choose his family OR her (and when a couple is legally married, they share 50/50 whatever they inherit).
The attorney advised me that in these situations, if the estranged child finds out that our Will is written that way, they go to the courthouse and get a quick divorce, costing around $300, and then after the funds from the will are distributed, they remarry. My DIL is evil enough to do just that if she thought she would get $$$.
So we have written new wills leaving everything to our good son (when both my husband and I are deceased) and in case he doesn't survive us, then a clause leaving to specific people/causes.
This is what our exclusions of ES says: 1.1 Intentional Exclusion. I have intentionally left nothing to my son [name] or to any descendant he might have, whether born or adopted before or after the date of this Will.
Our ES is not honoring the Fourth Commandment. As far as our granddaughter is concerned, we do not know her and we might never know her. If we do connect with her at some point, we will do something specific for her - if that ever happens.
Anyone can write a new will at any time; you start the new will with words like: this is my new will and testament and all former wills are null and void.
That is the law in Minnesota; you might want to consult an estate lawyer in your state to see if the laws are different regarding recipients of your estate.
I would love nothing more than my DIL find Christ and she and my ES come back into our life. We would be rejoicing and happy to rewrite our wills.
Since I have worked in a law firm for 40 years, I sought the advice of an estate partner. My idea was to write my Will with the provision that if our DIL was no longer in my ES's life, we would want him in our Will but if they continue to be estranged, I did not want my DIL to inherit any of our investments since she was the one who made our son choose his family OR her (and when a couple is legally married, they share 50/50 whatever they inherit).
The attorney advised me that in these situations, if the estranged child finds out that our Will is written that way, they go to the courthouse and get a quick divorce, costing around $300, and then after the funds from the will are distributed, they remarry. My DIL is evil enough to do just that if she thought she would get $$$.
So we have written new wills leaving everything to our good son (when both my husband and I are deceased) and in case he doesn't survive us, then a clause leaving to specific people/causes.
This is what our exclusions of ES says: 1.1 Intentional Exclusion. I have intentionally left nothing to my son [name] or to any descendant he might have, whether born or adopted before or after the date of this Will.
Our ES is not honoring the Fourth Commandment. As far as our granddaughter is concerned, we do not know her and we might never know her. If we do connect with her at some point, we will do something specific for her - if that ever happens.
Anyone can write a new will at any time; you start the new will with words like: this is my new will and testament and all former wills are null and void.
That is the law in Minnesota; you might want to consult an estate lawyer in your state to see if the laws are different regarding recipients of your estate.
I would love nothing more than my DIL find Christ and she and my ES come back into our life. We would be rejoicing and happy to rewrite our wills.
Question:
Can we perform our own legal wills online and then have them notarzied at our bank and then place the official copy in a safety deposit box for safekeeping as well as have our own non-notarized copy plus another sealed one to a designated proxy of our choosing? This is all brand new to me and am unfamiliar with the procedure and how many copies we are allotted. Probably the more, the more costly, right?
My wise DH also came up with a brilliant scheme how to leave things when we both are deceased. Of course, we will have written a legal will exactly the way you suggested to protect other family member(s). We also will instruct our attorney to contact my designated living estranged family members by formal letters indicating they are a beneficiary and must be present in his office to receive it while not disclosing information. The individuals in this estrangement group would include my ED, SIL, my ex, and my cruel estranged brother and his wife who would be impatiently waiting with their hands out. Knowing and realizing anyone in this group who are still alive at the time, they would spend money on airfare or gasoline for the car as well as hotel and dining simply to show up to see what had been bequeathed to them. Our attorney would read the letter to the group seated in the room. It would state they all are beneficiaries to what is enclosed in a smaller sealed envelope that contains camouflaged contents inside. The attorney then carefully opens the smaller envelope after reading the instructions we stated in the legal letter and to the delight of very tense recipients expecting a sizable check or cash, to their great surprise, the attorney pulls out only a one dollar note to be equally divided amongst family members present. I would give anything to be a ladybug on the wall or even an angel at that reading. I cannot begin to imagine the reaction and totally stunned looks on their countenances to realize I had the final say and bluffed them, leaving them absolutely NOTHING because they all had denied me the most precious things I valued most in life over material things...healthy family relationships!
Then take the will(s) to the bank. They have to be signed in the presence of a notary public and two witnesses who are not related to you or in the will. They could be cashiers at the bank. You can then make as many copies as you want to before putting the original into a SD box or some other safe place.
The way you describe calling everyone into your lawyers' office is okay but when you die, your attorney is required to send a copy of your will to every person you name in it, irregardless of whether they get anything or not. If their name is in it, they will get a letter and they can see who gets what. They will then have so many days to contest if they want but that will cost them attorneys fees so usually there is no contesting unless there is huge amounts of money involved.
You can also name specific people with specific amounts of money or items. Here is an example;
1. I leave $5,000 to my son [name]. (or any amount to any person, relative, friend, organization)
2. Paragraph I listed before about intentionally leaving nothing to [name]
3. I leave my antique bookshelf to [name]
Don't forget to name an executor. Usually it is a spouse but then you might want to say if spouse doesn't survive me, I name [xxxxx] as my executor.
Hope that helps.
In contractual law, the term "boilerplate language" describes the parts of a contract that are considered standard. Usually the greeting and the body of the letter have been pre-written, requiring the person requesting the action only to type or sign his or her name at the end. A boilerplate can be compared to a certain kind of template, which can be thought of as a fill-in-the-blanks boilerplate.
I have gone to lawdepot.com and legalzoom.com to check into these, so will unlikely need for you to send me a boilerplate. I appreciate your offer however! Thanks for thinking of me. Hugs to you...