How long ago did she say these things to you? Do you hear from her at all?

In this journey of estrangment from my chlld, I have found that I can do nothing to make my EC (estraned child) want to be in a relationship with me. I can only turn him over to God and pray that God will work in his life. I can also respond lovingly if my EC reaches out to me, but with boundaries because we deserve respect. If my EC doesn't reach out, I can pray about what God would lead me to do or not do. Sometimes God calls us to wait on him.

Lahayle I did everything to reach out to ED but nothing worked. I finally listened to her and have not talked to or reached out to her in 3 weeks. It is hard but only through prayer have I had the strength to keep going. It hasn't been easy but at least we haven't had the arguments or any ugly words. I am constantly being reminded that God has a plan. I just hope it will be sooner than later when that plan is revealed. :)

LaHayle,
So many of us have heard the same words. You are not alone! I was the worst mother and I am being punished now. (words from an email she sent me.) I think for me I felt more shock to have my own child be so mean to her mother? That is just so perplexing to me. But now that its been sometime since we have been close, I get that my ED just wants to figure out her life without my influence. She also has alot of pride...hmmmm wonder where she got that from? haha..

Recently she answered an email about my son. And honestly I should be jumping through hoops, but I'm not. Even though she is contacting her brother (no contact for over 2 years), she still presents this "I'm the altogether one" attitude. I wrote her an email asking if she did get my email and her response was rather curt. "I'm busy with school and work so I don't have time to answer your emails." Ok...really? Over 4 years of not having time...who is she kidding!!! She wants to make all the calls.

For me at this stage, I count it a blessing to hear from her, but I am also glad that I am not backing down from what caused the estrangement. I don't expect an apology, but I hope someday she will wake up and realize that I did something good for her and she turned it around to make me the "bad guy." I'm not falling for that. Others in my family may have, and some have taken her side, but I know that I did something good for her. She chose to destroy it. She also used me for years to get what she wanted.

So the way I look at it now (not the beginning, I was a mess then), this is her choice. I cannot change her in any way. In the meantime, I look forward to doing things now with my husband to have fun and enjoy life. It is possible to have that. I refuse to be Powerless under her definition of me. I am not her victim, and any type of abusive behavior is not welcomed. And she knows that of me.

At first its going to hurt and you have to go through the hurt to see what God is molding in you. He will help you become victorious over this and embrace YOU! You are His child also, and He will give you more Love and Confidence than you have ever experienced.

Hang in there, the answers don't come quickly with Estrangement, but God's Love and His handywork within us is revealed when we least expect it. And you will experience Joy again.

Hugs to You,
Pearl