What a beautiful word you shared with us. Thank you so much. We tend to get down on ourselves with guilt and blame. That is not the way of the Lord. Thank you for reminding us all.

Thankyou ivy. That's such a loving thing to say to all of us. I think we're a very special group of incredible ladies who trust in The Lord. We do need to have peace about what we can't change, and spend out days worshiping our Savior.

it is true we are great at caring for and worrying about our loved ones ....but who worries for and cares for us....I feel cheated at times......I do care for myself but just once in a while I wish someone else would care about me..

Ditto for me forloveofmom...I have the same wish...

It is true that we don't care enough for ourselves! Thank you for the book suggestion, it sounds like a good one and I will definitely check it out. I do wonder how this lack of self care has contributed to some of my estrangement issues. I know for myself that I thought "surely everyone would see how hard I worked, gave up sleep, money and was always "there" for everyone". I really thought I was doing the right things and was the hero of the family(in a way). But guess what, some did not think so. This includes my ed who I did nothing but help and sacrifice for. I was self sacrificing, which is good, but when you do it all the time it has some nasty side effects. I am sure it caused me to be a little harsh, a little judgmental, and not able to see how I was actually interacting with people. It also caused me to have my feelings hurt easily or to become offended easily. Satan attacks us when we are tired and I learned that wisdom the hard way. Soooo then I also developed chemical depression and I didn't even know I had it because I didn't feel in a way I "thought" depression felt like. I had a really compassionate women doctor who helped me and I had to go on treatment for depression for a year. Prescription medication and a physiologist, the whole nine yards. I didn't think I needed the counseling, but it was really good for me to have someone make me look at the tendencies of my extended family and also to see all I had been through that contributed to my depression. My eyes were opened to a lot of things and I know God was with me in it all. I now am really careful of stress and I am learning to self care. I am also trying to be aware of the stigma of mental health issues and stand against the shame of it. We are not made of stone and are after all human beings. A sudden shock(like when people we love deeply cut us out of our life) or ongoing stress can bring on depression. And the real surprise for me was, that when my body gave out, I was not given a bit of mercy from some of the people I had loved so deeply. I couldn't continue to do the things(or put up with the things) I previously had and was attacked. I am grateful that I did have a few people(and this support group) that confirmed that I did not deserve what my ed was doing otherwise I think I would have been swept away. So now I am on a path to re discover who God made me to be. People always say that you can't give away what you don't have and this is true. I just didn't get it. You have to put something in , to have something to give and I was running on fumes. I think my role models of women taught a lot of this mind set to me. It was probably also a combination of pride, not really trusting in the Lord and people pleasing. Now God is teaching me a new way. It is not laziness or uncaring or selfishness to protect your health, both mental or physical, in fact it allows you to be a better servant. I can't go back, but with God's grace I can go forward. And we all know, the Lord wastes nothing. Sorry if this is fragmented sentences, I wanted to get my feelings out quickly. Hope my heart comes through all this, Love to you all, Diana p.s. my grandaughter had her 4th birthday on the 3rd of February and I don't know her or her little brother. They are my first and only Grandchildren and I am having those overwelming waves of sadness.......

Thank you for this reminder. When my teenage daughter got pregnant and ran off, I had a Christian counselor that kept telling me to take care of myself. At the time I thought that was selfish and ridiculous- that I had to be doing something- even sitting home worrying- to help my ED. But, guess what- that doesn't help her! I have also learned that if we don't take care of ourselves- physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally- we will jeopardize the healthy relationships that we do have and that we so desperately need.
Exercise, call a friend for lunch, re-do your closet, rent a movie, volunteer.... whatever works for you to stay sane while God does what only He can do in our children's hearts and lives.
Hugs

I love this. Thank you so much for sharing!

Thank you. I needed to hear that :-)

Must get a copy of this book. I, too, take care of everyone but myself. This may very well what most of us need. Thank you so much for your help and sharing.