CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
Because I've endured estrangement .. a safety net is crucial for my survival. I've also endured profound twisting of the scriptures, from childhood .. the Lord being barely recognizable .. if not all. Thank God .. that He revealed Himself to those who seek HIm. I love the scripture that He seeks those who will worship Him "in spirit and in truth." I treasure that He doesn't cut me off .. when I'm all but dead inside .. from too long "lost at sea." I felt the impact of living "in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water."
I prayed for a relationship with Him free of "halo" .. and pretense. A faith that fit me. Because I saw such strain in His name. And it wasn't right.
I've been in a group from church for several years intended for "sisters to go through life with." Except what's been bothering me .. a long time .. is the continual pressure to do service for others "out there" .. while we disregard the needs of one another. Feels sanctimonious. All for recognition for our good works by the leader of women's ministries. I'm been swimming through this "head trip" for 2 years. I've spoken frankly about it repeatedly. Pointedly. No change. No one listens. As a preacher's kid, I can attest that pastors feel obliged to care for others even at the expense of their own families. I choose not to live that way.
I just can't believe that's what our Lord intends. He doesn't shame us for having needs. Like ever. And yet .. that's the message I'm hearing in this group. We are to have no needs of our own. Or if so .. handle them with masterful independence. So when too ill to go to the store .. and we live alone .. it's too bad. No comfort. No help. Just required to do service to others.
Well .. like the saying "a chain is only as strong as its weakest link." When we hit the skids, and someone helps us .. we are fortified .. when they fall down .. sometime later.
Why, pray say ... is this not practiced?
I prayed for a relationship with Him free of "halo" .. and pretense. A faith that fit me. Because I saw such strain in His name. And it wasn't right.
I've been in a group from church for several years intended for "sisters to go through life with." Except what's been bothering me .. a long time .. is the continual pressure to do service for others "out there" .. while we disregard the needs of one another. Feels sanctimonious. All for recognition for our good works by the leader of women's ministries. I'm been swimming through this "head trip" for 2 years. I've spoken frankly about it repeatedly. Pointedly. No change. No one listens. As a preacher's kid, I can attest that pastors feel obliged to care for others even at the expense of their own families. I choose not to live that way.
I just can't believe that's what our Lord intends. He doesn't shame us for having needs. Like ever. And yet .. that's the message I'm hearing in this group. We are to have no needs of our own. Or if so .. handle them with masterful independence. So when too ill to go to the store .. and we live alone .. it's too bad. No comfort. No help. Just required to do service to others.
Well .. like the saying "a chain is only as strong as its weakest link." When we hit the skids, and someone helps us .. we are fortified .. when they fall down .. sometime later.
Why, pray say ... is this not practiced?
There will always be people in this world that does good to get the praises and accolades from others. They are not new, the Scribes and the Pharisees were like that. But, even though we may not be able to decide for sure what the intent of a persons actions are, Jesus can. He could look within the heart and he still does.
There have been times when I have truly done good for someone who then turned around and twisted it with malice in their hearts. My DIL would be the first I would start with. But, I have to let go of what others do. It only hurts me to keep that anger at the top of my emotional state on a daily basis. What she did, she is and will be held accountable to God for in the future. It's me, myself and I that I have to keep an eye on constantly it seems. Seems like I get up every day with the idea that I'm not going to sin today so I don't have to apologize - then I wake up. LOL
Take care!
GuelsMom
it's a mega church. The pastor is a good man .. he just doesn't have a clue about the everyday person. Busy building an empire. I'm not leaving the church .. but I am leaving the group. Although i hope anyone who has been my friend from the group, will remain my friend. But likely not. No one is listening. Because my journey has been so treacherous .. I need handpicked friends to go through life with.
I love this .. "It is for freedom that He has set us free." And I look the book of Galatians. Urging us not to be caught up in laws and regulations and requirements that obscure the gospel.
I know I must find another "home" soon.. Maybe a Bible study.
Things well with you today?
Mega churches? Hmmm! I have only been to one in VA. I could never get used to one. They are just not for me. I like our small hometown church. Our pastor is just a regular guy - but a good pastor. Our son and DIL went to a mega church for a while but left because they thought is was odd that the greeters on a Sunday morning got paid to do it. It seems to me that you can get lost in a mega church.
And I'm a friendly person. Don't get it. I'm in a classical piano class .. and have a bond with all of them .. and our professor. Lots of kidding, encouragement .. hard work and laughter. Never feel like I do in my group from church.
Maybe that's key. I HAVE A PLACE in my piano class. I don't have to earn it. After a recent performance, a classmate hugged me with tears in her eyes. Now that's dear. And my walking buddy is married to a classmate.
Doctors have told me I've overcome more, by leaps and bounds, that can be done .. in one lifetime... But that's not enough for my group .. One called me recently.. "I'm going to talk and you're going to listen." And then cited all that is wrong about me in a tone used by an Army Sgt. It was horrific. On and on she went. Yeah, I have issues. I don't like to be lorded over. Two minutes later, she called to apologize .. in a tone . simply not believable -- and so abruptly.
My ex was over-the-top verbally abusive. And it felt the same. Exactly the same. The difference is .. I've changed.
My daughters and I don't see their father. Neither does his son by a former marriage .. want anything contact. He was taken over, hook, line and sinker .. by pornography. As a actor/writer/producer. Knee deep. Kept pushing the limits of decency. No one can get close to someone damaged at the very core. Only a glimpse now and then .. of the magnificent man I met .. once upon a time in the Air Force. I loved him .. because he did not flinch when I told my story .. like everyone else. And he was so intuitive .. it took my breath away.
That's the rub. Sin makes us unrecognizable. Destroys our beauty. Our very being.
God .. we need a Savior.