Sylvia, estrangement is a death of a relationship with our child. It is something our EC chose and that does make it very sad. You are right. We grieve as we do for a physical death or loss.

We are so thankful for those of our loved ones who want to be in our lives. Our EC have also lost s lot. My heart tells me that they realize it although they may not admit it. Life is short and fragile. We pray that our EC will turn to God and He may lead them back to family.

I also took down pictures of our ED among our sons. It does not mean I do not love her and pray for her though.

Yes, it is a type of death. You are so right in that. But unlike a real death, there is no funeral, and no closure. And certainly no sympathy from family and friends. They don't get it at all. At least in my situation they don't. They keep thinking it is just something silly that will blow over, like a trivial argument. I have given up trying to explain it to them. They mean well, they just don't get it. And I am thankful they don't get it, I wouldn't' want this to happen to my worst enemy, let alone my family and friends. And that is why I am so thankful for this site. I understand exactly how you feel. My son and DIL already blocked me, but I took an additional step and I blocked them as well, because I know how DIL is, and she does love to unblock me from time to time, and torment me. And also sometimes she logs in as my son, pretending to be him. So I blocked them both. I haven't gotten rid of ES's pictures, but this Christmas for the first time in 28 years I did not hang his stocking up with the others. I know that sounds stupid, but it was a big step for me. I also have three other children who I try to concentrate on. Take care of yourself!

For me, it is the death of my hopes and dreams more than anything. I moved back to where my daughters and their families live, at their urging, only to have them estrange themselves from us 18 months later. I've leaned on and into the Lord many times in my life, but never as hard as I am now. I know He has a plan for all of this - I'm just trying to be patient while I wait on Him to find out that that perfect plan is.

Last year was so very difficult, full of so much loss for me and my husband - my beloved Mother died on Mother's Day of last year and then in the beginning of December we lost two wonderful pets, both 15 years old, within the same week, so I was already in mourning over my Mother and we were both feeling such great loss over our pets - buy that didn't seem to matter to my two ED's - they just piled more on by removing themselves and our seven beautiful grandchildren rom our lives too - it's no wonder I was in a state of shock for over 5 months. I even asked them, "why would you do such a thing, especially after you know the losses we are already grieving?". I got no answer. What did I do wrong for them to turn out to treat their own mother with such cruelty? I don't know who they are, but I will survive - the only way this will bring me to my knees to to cry out to God for them and for my own healing. Yes, I'm leaning in harder than ever on The Lord now. I'm reading a book and involved in a Bible study right now entitled, "The Mended Heart: God's Healing for Your Broken Places", by Suzanne Eller - I highly recommend it for all of our broken hearts.

Keep praying and trusting in God for your lost adult child. Your other children are blessings to encourage you.

What do you do when you only have one EC who rejected you, a mom who's dying of cancer and no true social support other than a call here and there? I gave so much my whole life and ended up with almost nothing. I'm tired and have recurring thoughts of ending it all soon. Life is too painful and I was left with nothing to live for. I don't get any breakthroughs in any areas of my life, as if I have a black cloud over my head and don't understand why. I've reached out to my ED over and over these past days via email and text. No response. I don't exist. The cruelty is too much to bare. Loneliness and rejection is the worst kind of pain there is!

Too heartbroken, one of the scripture verses I cling to is Romans 8:31 "If God be for us, who can be against us". No matter who disowns me God will not. And in the end that is what matters. So I ask God to use me and he opened the door to play bingo at a nursing home. Also the knowledge that God has shown me that this is not my ED we are dealing with but its satan. The daughter I knew doesn't exist. Satan has control. So I pray for her. Also I asked God for Christian friends and He has given me many. But in surprising places, like Facebook, and on Google Plus-Bible Verse Group. And the nursing home. I too took care of both my parents till they died. My sister never even came to either funerals. But she is the one who missed out. I got to be with them till the end and that is such a blessing to me now. God bless you

Too heart, life is very hard and we are reminded over and over again how we live in a sin cursed world. Our only hope is Jesus. He will give is His grace each day. Please know that we understand and that we care.

Do you have a good church you attend with caring people? God's family is family.

tooheart im sorry for your pain and prayers are with you!