Well as many of you remember, my ES and his mentally deranged wife had their second baby in January. My son will not even return any of my texts, but had sent one or two to my husband and oldest son. My DIL had sent me several, though. I told her we planned on coming up to see the baby this spring, and she said great! But then she stopped sending pictures and texts as well, and my son hasn't had any contact with me in over a year. Well now it is March, a spring month, so we decided April 4 would be a good weekend to try to go up there (they live in another state). My husband and I had decided we would go up, stay in a hotel, and invited them to come see us. It wouldn't be a long visit, but at least to show an effort. Well my husband texted my son last night, and he responded angrily, "No, you must come to OUR HOUSE, because she is breastfeeding. And you better start accepting her as my wife and we are a family, " blah blah blah. I have no idea what breastfeeding has to do with anything, by the way. Now, in case some of you have forgotten, my ES is the one who a year ago came to us, crying and begging for help for a divorce from her because of many reasons, but in his own words, "She's crazy and I'm fearful for the baby to be around her". Now he acts like none of that ever happened and we are the bad guys. I could write a novel of all the horrible, evil things she has done, but my fingers would probably fall off from all the typing. Anyway, my husband texted him back, "Why are you acting like this? I never mentioned Lindsay at all. I just said we were coming up." And then our son said he was sorry, that "old habits die hard" and that the kids need grandparents, we are all adults, he wants to turn the page and start fresh. Now, I am sure to most of you, that would be music to your ears! And it would be to me as well, except we have sadly been through this before. Right before the first baby was born, we did the same thing. He wanted us to forget all the horrible things she had done, and start fresh. So we did, and that is when she tried to control me, she would call me 30 times a day, telling me she loved me, would quote scripture, then an hour later would be on Facebook cursing at all sorts of other people. So she hadn't changed at all. She would call me up at odd hours, saying there were demons in her apartment. She would tell me my son was violent and she wanted a divorce. Then the next day she would say he was the best thing that ever happened. Utter madness! So, this is the thing....NONE OF US want a relationship with her anymore. I just can't bear to get back on that roller coaster anymore. I know what will happen if we all "kiss and makeup". She will start up that crazy control game with me again and I just can't do it. But we do want a relationship with our son, and the children. I don't wish her any harm, and I would never speak badly of her, but I just can't pretend nothing ever happened. And this is the kicker....when we tried that before, my son STILL wouldn't speak to me, saying I was being fake, and he knew I didn't really like Lindsay deep down! So I am damned if I do, and damned if I don't. So this is the dilemma....we have decided we will go on April 4. We will stay in a hotel, and go over to their place for an hour or so. Just a short visit, but to show we care. Whether or not my son speaks to me(he still hasn't, only to my husband) I have no idea, and I will not be rude to Lindsay, but I will not be chummy chummy either. Polite, but thats it. Then we will leave. This is the problem...what if they should say they want to come to our house next? I would LOVE to have my son and the boys, but I am scared of her and I don't want her to come. There, I said it. And to be truthful, when we tried this before with her, it all backfired in my face and it truly made her even crazier. It was during that time while we were still talking that she had to be admitted to the psych ward again and that was when my son said she had the fit in the priest's office where she turned into something straight out of the Exorcist. So that is the truth. I just don't think I can bear trying to get back in a relationship with her. And this is so unfair of my son to ask this. He is the one who told us how scary she was, and now he is demanding we take her back! And the other thing is, if I DID take her back, I would be all alone. My husband forbids it. My daughter would never come around as she is done with Lindsay. My younger son feels the same way, and is terrified of her. I am unsure of my oldest son and how he would react. I just wish my son would understand. He can HAVE HIS CAKE and eat it, too....we aren't saying he must leave her. I just wish he wouldn't demand we accept her because I truly thing she is possessed by a demon. I just had to get all of this out on paper because I know you won't judge me and if I told this to my friends around here, they would just think "Great! How awesome he wants a fresh start!" not really understanding the manipulation that is going on. BIG SIGH.......