forgot to say my son also said that webuy stuff for our 3yr old gs {his son],and nothing for the 16yr old,21yr old,22yr old. step kids.I tried to explained to him when i buy its family size,and gs doesnt eat 5lbs frozen ff,pans of lasagna,bags of apples,5lb candy,5lb cookie trays.The grown stepkids work,have children of own and we gave a 500.00 check when home caught fire to get clothes andmy sister gave 300.00 and i bought for my gs can you tell what more do they want

Hmm...My ES married a woman with a son. Then they had two together. We have accepted her son just like one of our own grandchildren and love him the same. We don't have 7 grandchildren, we have 8, including him. We give gifts equally. We have a dog, and one of my friends doesn't like her. I have to admit, right or wrong, I don't like that. Lola is part of our family. But I value her friendship, so I tolerate her attitude towards my dog. :) My in-laws didn't keep things equal as far as gifts went, and to be honest, I think that is a mistake. Joseph's Dad in the Bible didn't keep things equal and look what the result was. It doesn't matter where it is purchased or how big it is, there are many things people of all ages need that can be given without too much expense. Or made by hand. Attempts at equality by parents really matters. Just my thoughts.

We have given to the stepchildren and treated them great trips to dw,clothing,dinners and i have 2 other gc from other son,and stepchildren from his wife also and been disrecpted by these stepchildren before gs came and let itgo they are part of family and never hurt anyone but they hurt us all the time

It sounds like you have included and been fair with your step gc. It seems like your DIL watches this closely and discusses it with your ES. She seems like she happy about how her dogs are looked upon. I know they caused allergies with your gs. It does not seem as if they are getting rid of them. She must be discussing this with your ES, also. Can you have a nice talk with her?

A while ago you stated that you have done everything that you could and that you were a little unwell. Aren't you happy that others are seeing to the move and that it isn't another burden on you? As for the dogs, you don't like them and your son's family loves them, big as they are. Accept that.
I agree that being fair is to treat all those whom your son loves with equal value. I'm glad that things are working out with getting a house. Maybe when the family settles into the rented house, things will settle down. How is your GS's allergies through all this stress?

GS skin was getting better,son even commented that since they have been in hotel he sees a differance and said it must have been something in home,so we noticed he started with reddness around eyes we said nothing,dil sent a picture of gs in hotel and in the background sits the dogs yes 3 huge dogs in a hotel room.Are they stupid,or just acting.And oh yes its a HUGE relief for us that things worked out for them.Sallyann you have no idea the relief it is.and yes i will have to accept what my son family wants as far as the dogs.The way i seeson and dil need to get the rash on there face,behind,body and itch the way my gs does then maybe they will do something.They are selfish,ignorant,parents.

There are some people that no matter what you do , they are going to find fault with you because that is just the way they are. It certainly isn't easy to deal with these people especially when they are part of the family. Just continue to do for all of them if that is what you want to do but the decisions are yours. How she reacts are her decisions. But it seems like she is just trying to make trouble. You will probably never gain her acceptance but you need to decide how far you are willing to go and what you are willing to do. My prayers are with you that God may open their eyes and soften their hearts so that you can all be family. Hugs

I cant do this anymore,and i have to stop !