Absolutely Norske....In essence, if my priority is for my ES to come back to me first, then I see it as putting my ES above God and my needs at the center. It should not be so, although our ES and DiL claim to be Christians, when there actions are compared to God's inspired Word, they have a LOT growing to do. (Myself included in that growing too I must add). But, it is only when they turn their eyes to Jesus and walk in His ways, do I even have HOPE of resolution. Yes, I have a right to ask for PEACE within our family and I do ask for that, but it is secondary, not primary.

Am I making sense here?

....oops. "their actions - not there actions.

This is good, Norske. The part about the "favor of God" being what God can do for us compared to what we can do for ourselves reminds me that I can do nothing apart from Him. I can do ALL things through Christ and nothing on my own. I am sure that Jesus is saddened by the choice of our EC to be estranged. We pray for our EC knowing that only God can change their hearts first towards God then towards family.

I have been thinking about this too for my son to listen to the Lord again, like he once did. That is the most important part.

Our ES & DIL aren't christians. I pray for them daily. I I hope that once they accept Jesus as their savior they will contact our family. If they don't while on this earth, if they were Christians I would see them in the next life.There are days I understand this and then there are days that I am so broken and bitter. There are days I am so jealous of people who have "normal" families. At times I am so angry. I wonder how my son can live his life without being a part of anyone in his family. Has he erased us? How do you really stop loving your family?

harrisonlater - I have those same feelings. This morning I read Prayer for Prodigals that comes to me via email reminding me to love my children unconditionally and don't be embarrassed by their behavior. Easy to read; hard to do.

Yesterday one friend spent such a fun day with her daughter tasting wedding cakes; another friend talked about how her DIL wants her to come to all the gc activities at school. No one wants me to sample wedding cakes; no one wants me to come to my grandchildren's events.

And yet - I have to hold on to God; He does have a plan for me and I have to wait patiently. I ask forgiveness all the time because I'm a bit jealous of my friends' lives. I would never want to take that away from them; I just want a little bit of that love from adult children.

Today I a going to my prayer group for Parents of Prodigals. I am the only one who has an adult child who is completely estranged, who hasn't wanted his family in his life for over 6 years. The others have adult children who are dealing with mistakes they are making in their lives. I try to hold on to God will not give me more than I can handle and He will carry me over the rough spots.

I know God has a plan for me that is wonderful and perfect, I just have to hold on and accept His gifts.

You're right Norske1 - He will work everything out for us. I know we are closer to God because of estrangement it makes us realize that He is all we have and all we need period. Praying that today is easier for you than yesterday.

Norske, It is sad when we see others being close to their adult children. I felt it while attending a Bridal shower last weekend. Knowing our ED is engaged and we are not included. It is times like that I know the enemy wants to discourage me and render me useless. I must spend time with Him and dwell on the blessings.

Harrison, such true words. Jesus is all that we need.

Even though Jesus has always been in my life, I have to say this estrangement has brought me closer to Him. He knows my pain, and all of ours on this site, and the human in me wonders why it goes on as if prayers aren't being answered.

And when I get those feelings, that is when I really try to focus on all the blessings in my life. And then my mind wonders to all the family and friends I know who has all the same blessings PLUS their adult children and gc in their lives.

That is when I have to just lay my prayers at His feet and read a book or watch a movie or try a new recipe or something to distract me from wishing I was someone else. I'm too old for these challenges! (smile face)

Norske, I struggle with the things you mentioned. There are so many blessings to count but I often think about all the people I know with intact families. The word Accept usually comes to mind. We do not get to choose our lot and bad things happen to good people. Our EC choosing estrangement is a bad thing and that is where there free will stepped in. It is not God's will.

The more I talk with people it is clear that everyone is going through a trial. It may not be estrangement but they will all admit that life is hard on some level. We don't get through this life without joys and sadness. How blessed we are to have Jesus walk with us.

Thank you lindajoan - I never want to take away from anyone else's happiness, never. I just wish for the same sometimes.

I sure hear you on that stmt Norske...i just wish I could have some too !!!

AlK

Agreed. I pray our EC will listen to God, one day, and desire a relationship with us.

I believe that is the bottom line problem of all the estrangements. They are not Christians. Some may call themselves that but they don't pass the litmus test. However, for me, it also makes me look in the mirror more to be a better person to my fellow neighbor, friend, relative than EC have been to me and DH. If I am to accuse my ED and SIL of being such a thing, then I need to tote the line a little closer. I keep thinking about it is not my place to judge.