You are forgiven Nancy, Christ died for you!

I remember in a newspaper a pyschologist speaking how he had converted to Christianity after 14 years of practice because he had found that the major form of mental illness was not forgiving yourself or someone else.

You must first forgive yourself, you didn't invent alcohol either, it was there as a temptation from Satan, and you succumbed, but you eventually quit, and changed your ways....WHAT AN AMAZING VICTORY!!! some never do!

My father was a solidier he died from cirrohis as did my brother 20 years later. They died Nancy, you are a survivor, and this is a very important thing for your children to realize even if it is from a distance you are a great testament of the power of God and the power of the spirit to overcome. You are still a role model to your children.

a very important thing you posted is Life is just awful right NOW....but we know there are different seasons in our lives and things can and do change. Keep striving Nancy, I am personally very proud of your accomplishment as a child from an alcoholic home. I watched my father a big strong beautiful man wither away emancipated and pass away.

I know the pain of estrangement, but please don't take it completely personally this generation is all about disposability. But you are a testament of courage and sacrifice and I think what a blessing you can be to others struggling with the pain of addiction.

Don't let them judge you. God has already forgiven you!!!!!!!

Hugs :)))
Alienated

NancyR None of us were perfect parents (there are none) and our EC were not perfect children. Praise God for the victory that He has brought into your life. We can not change our ec BUT GOD can. They can see how you have a "new" beginning and are being used to help and encourage others who are going through what you did. There are so many alcoholics that need to hear your story of hope. Reach out to others and give them hope and be blessed. In time, your EC, God willing, will be proud of the wonderful mother they do have.

"With God ALL things are possible."

God bless us all at this CHRISTmas time.

Nancy.... I can't really add to much more that what A-mom and linda wrote other that to say that because alcoholism does bring chaos to the family of the alcoholic, it is going to take some time for them to trust that this is real, that it is going to last and that you have truly changed. Give them some time to see that. Quite often on here, we speak about our EK's and their destructive or abusive patterns towards us and how when they come to us, we want to see and know that it is for real. Step into your kids shoes for a moment and try to see it from their perspective. What we want from our kids, is what they are looking from you - but it takes time. It was a hard road down for them to travel along with you; and it may be a bumpy road on the way up and back to normalcy. But it is truly worth working at and living for. But Jesus promises to be there for each and every struggle that we have to endure...."I will never leave you nor forsake you" promised Jesus.

Your sobriety must be for you. If your sobriety is to get them back then you need to refocus your primary reasons. I'm certainly not saying you aren't at all - just tossing it out there for consideration if it is. Become the best person you can become; let them see that you now respect yourself enough to live as God wants you to live. But the truth is that we can apologize until we are blue in the face, and yet, many of these kids refuse to accept apologies because in doing so, they have to give up their imaginary powere hold that have over you if they do. They are getting something out of not accepting apologies or else they would release you. But do not let that prevent you from know the love and forgiveness of Christ. He is the one that is the most important. Humans like to withhold forgiveness as a power tool but Christ does not for the truly repentant.

Hang in there! We are here for you all the way. Huge hugs for you!!!

GuelsMom

Hi Nancy, that is my name to! I am sorry to hear your story. I have found that young people nowadays (my own included) are becoming more intolerant & unwilling to forgive. I was a depressed mom, but always did my best to hide it from my kids. Sometimes I failed. Now, I am paying for it. I will pray for you & your daughters, that they may find foregiveness for thier mother. You KNOW God has forgiven you. Please try to keep your chin up. ((hugs)) Nancy

Ask God to comfort you in a place beyond words. He knows more than we can ever imagine what it is like when beloved children spurn and reject.

Our desire for answers in words or human wisdom or human (hollywood?) solutions is understandable but misguided. Ask instead that your loving Father provide you with comfort, and ask boldly for it.

This prayer, renewed daily, has made daily living less unthinkable and less unbearable for us. It took years for me to stop telling God how to give me my "happy ending" and instead to seek his perfect provision of comfort in the midst of the real life I really have.

Hi Nancy, I support AMom. You are forgiven. How amazing you are. Make no mistake you have acheived so much. I congratulate you. But the challenges that God lays down for us just never stop. It is now your turn to be the one to show forgiveness. Forgive your EC. Forgiveness is so much harder than words in a prayer. They are stuck in the past with their own memories, their own demons and hurts. They are not ready to let go and forgive you wholeheartedly and perhaps they never will. But, my dear Nancy, forgive them. Face the fact that you might not get what you most wont, we rarely do, and ask Him to take your pain away. Give your pain to Him and move forward. You might not be able to see and help your own family but there others in desperate need. We are all one big family in God. Hold your head high, do not carry shame on your shoulders alowing it to weigh you down. Its Christmas time and there are many lonely people out there that need somebody, young and old. Put joy ino other peoples hearts. Its true, God works in mysterious ways. Your EC do not sound ready to forgive, they are only human, but you can forgive them and prey for them. And then smile and bring happiness to others who need the kindness in your soul. You will be doing His work. May God bless you. xx

Nancy, I am so sorry for the pain your going through. It's a pain like no other. This too shall pass. You have taken such big steps to improve yourself. Keep moving forward. Use this time to bless others. Plant seeds often and name them as you do. They will come to fruition. Remember, you are God's child and He loves you so much.

Jesus summed it up pretty much this way didn't he, "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." Jesus was the only one present that was without sin and he didn't condemn or stone to death and he could have.
Who do these self righteous hypocritical adult children think they are anyway? If the Lord Jesus Christ who is perfect doesn't condemn and forgives who are they to throw stones and condemn us? None of us were the perfect mothers. Lord knows I told mine growing up, oops, made a mistake, your mother isn't perfect, but I am sure trying to be a good mother. I forgave my children when they were bad growing up, never stopped loving them, didn't throw them out the street, but by golly that is what they have done to us!

Nancy, I'm so sorry for your pain. I know that pain of crying and crying and think I'll never stop. I just joined this site. I'm so grateful I've found it. The Lord love you so much. I pray you can receive the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Right now I don't care if I see my ED. It's the grand babies I grieve over and for. She not only is hurting us she is hurting her own kids. I haven't seen them since July. Up until then I was taking care of them non stop. When they went on vacations. When they worked. I took care of them the past 6 years. The oldest is 6. There are 3. I know they wonder where I am. They are at an age where they will forget me. That hurts so much. I'm so sick of their evil games they keep playing. They keep saying we can see them and make excuses so we can't see them. How cruel and sick is that. I said all this to say, I do understand your pain and wanting God to take you home. Hang in there. Today could be a good day. I pray so. I'm so grateful to find others and I feel hope and not so alone. Post often and find your strength and healing from all of us.