Thank you Norske. I think of you often. God bless you.

Thank you for this prayer. I don't think of my ES as a prodigal, because he is a believer, raises his children in the faith, attends a Bible believing and teaching church, and seems spiritually strong. BUT...he despises my husband and especially me. How do I wrap my mind around that? He has gone out of his way to bad mouth us to friends of ours to whom he has gone for counselling! I can tell they believe him from conversations. So now I don't want to see them either. Who else will be contaminated? We have friends in common with them and I hate the thought of losing their friendship as well. Twenty five year friendship down the toilet because of his venomous talk. The shame I feel is unbearable. They are such godly people, who now think we're garbage. God and I know the truth, but they don't. Do you ever just want to go far far away?

Good question Barby. I tend to think a Christian who does this to parents is worse than an unbeliever who does that to parents. My ED knew the Lord. It is clearly sin and they should know this is not Biblcal.

You did nothing wrong. Many Christian people listened and were counterproductive to our estrangement situation when our ED made false accusations. They are the ones who are wrong. That is not God's way.

Barby, you cannot wrap your mind around that because a believer hating his own parents contradicts God's Word. It is sin, and there is no way for a true believer to be comfortable in sin. Things may look good, he may look spiritually strong, but if he hates his own parents, dishonors his own parents via gossip in the name of counseling, then he's in sin... and shame on the mutual friends for offering to "counsel" without your permission--the counsel should come from an unbiased godly person... I know you feel the shame now, but there will come a time, if your son does not get right with the Lord where he could find himself face to face hearing the
Scariest words in the Bible...
"Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles? "And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you who practice lawlessness." Matt 7:22-23 God takes this stuff seriously.

We gotta pray for these children... the ones who don't know the Lord need the Lord, and the ones who do know the Lord need to get right, quick. I think time is short, don't you?

I know you feel the shame and embarrassment, but stand strong in the Lord. We were lied about, too... It was devastating. I lost all my family because of my daughter's lies. My family members are not Christian. Thankfully our friends who are Christians knew us and stood by us... but it was still embarrassing that they had to hear the junk coming out my own child's mouth.

God allowed us to move away from my family. God showed me who my true family was... Estrangement can be a lonely fire to go through.

Hard times do show us who are friends really are. A true friend loves at all times...

Thank you all for your words of wisdom - Godly wisdom. You're so right lindajoan and katesmom - we don't want our Christian adult children to ever hear those words from the Lord. I don't wish any harm here or in the next life for my ES. I've prayed for him for so many years that it seems hopeless at times, but God hasn't given up on our EC yet. Betrayal by friends adds so much to the hurt as well. It's hard to hold my head up when I'm around some people, but I'm becoming a better actress the more practice I get.
You ladies are wonderful - true friends.

Norske, I love your prayer. When told a few years ago that my ED would not consider speaking to me unless I never spoke about the Lord to her or my GC, I made it clear that I simply cannot ever make that promise. I will never betray or deny the Lord to gain her attention, even if it means never seeing her again.

I pray for her daily, that she will see her sin and unkindness. I raised her in the church, but she never received the Lord as her savior. I pray for all of our prodigals.

My husband and I moved away after the estrangement. We were lucky enough to have a lake home to move to an we retired young to do that. It helped being away. Our other son, who is strong in the Lord and stood by us, came up every other weekend to fish and spend time with us.

I called my other son (who was estranged) today and said I hadn't heard from him since Christmas Day, almost a month ago, and wanted to know I was thinking of him. We talked for about 20 minutes. I mentioned that he didn't respond to my email asking about friending his wife on facebook. He said that "when she is ready down the road" maybe she will ask me to be a friend on facebook.

From our conversation I understood that he wants to be reconnected but she is still giving him challenges. I did witness him tell her that he would NEVER AGAIN be estanged from his family. His words were "Angie, that won't happen again." But he is walking a tight wire.

As my dad used to say about things, "it is what it is". All I can do, any of us can do, is (1) pray for our children that they return to the Lord/live according to His word by their actions, and (2) actually want us in their lives the way God meant it to be.

Thank you for your wisdom Norske. It seems like it is often the spouse or BF/GF that wants to keep the estrangement going. It is important that our EC show the courage to say that it is not going to happen to my parent like your son did. We pray that they will each get to that place. Right now our ED is listening to a BF and his family. It is so unChristlike.

Sadly, lindajoan, it took ES's father diagnosed with cancer to bring him back. Otherwise, he was so head strong that he would never have reconnected with us. Now he lives with regret that he missed out on 8 years of time with his father that he can never get back.

And after returning and me, his brother, his aunt/uncle and cousins welcoming him with open arms and not judging him, is what made him realize how important "his" family is and I think that is why he told his wife estrangement from his family will not happen again.

As much as I would like to shake him and ask what the heck were you thinking, I have to be very closed mouth and let the past stay there. My son suffers from crohn's and stress is not good for him.

Hopefully when I move back to the cities, he and I can have more time together, maybe a short visit if he stops by on his way home from work. He told me yesterday that his wife does not want to be friends with me on FB but he hopes someday she will change her mind.

As the old saying goes "it is what it is". I continue to trust God in all of this.

tears came to my eyes Norske1 as I read your post. Unfortunately, God does sometimes uses sorrow to wake people up. When we pray that God have his way, you must have faith that God does know what he is doing. He looks at a far greater picture then we do. Saving souls is his main priority.
I received some very disturbing news late last evening. I have to remind myself, God is in control but, I question if this is what it is gong to take to wake my family up and bring us back together again? I need your prayers .
If we as Mothers would enforce our methods of handling this es, LOL , wouldn't be enough prison cells to hold us!

Praying faith. God bless you. Please continue to be with us.

praying for you Faith... may others see God's hand even in this and use this time for restoration.

Thanks, lindajoan, and katesmom.... i try to look for God in all things and circumstances. And you know what? You can always find him.