CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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claudiacazanas 09/14/2015

I have not seen my oldest son or my Grandaughter in 5 years. Not since the funeral of my oldest Grandson( his son). He had stopped letting me see her a few Months before the accident that killed my oldest Grandson. The reason , he did not want me teaching her about my faith. She had started asking questions and he said I was influencing her and I was not going to force her to believe things I tried to make him! I had spent 5 years with her, every free opportunity. The last thing she said to me was" Nanny I love you !" Now I am not allowed to even speak to her on the phone.. The last week would have been my oldest Grandsons 24 Birthday and all the strides I thought I had made are gone and it all comes flooding back, the pain, the sadness, the felling of guilt and what I did that was so wrong? Why he can't forgive me and move on. He will not speak to me or even talk to me I phone or in emails. I send gifts and cards on Birthdays and all Holidays. Not acknowledged, or thanked since the first Christmas after they took her away..
I see from all the post on this site that others are suffering from
This same needless pain , by their own children.
If not for my faith I would not have made it this far. God and my Savior have brought me thus far. Glad to know there is a place where I can talk to those who understand.

lindajoan 09/15/2015

Sorry for the pain you are going through. Estrangenent and withholding of grandkids is sin. It does not make sense. We pray one day out EC will be changed by God. We pray for that.

ruthsandraschilling 09/15/2015

I think we all understand how you feel. I am sure we all have prayed about our situations. How cruel these children are to inflict there coldness towards us on to their children. No example. I think it is a spiritual problem myself. My son said to me ...you are no Christian when I said I still love you and forgive what you have said to me. Yes it does help to know others are struggling with the same hurt as it makes you feel very alone.

claudiacazanas 09/15/2015

Ruth & Linda
Thank you for your kind words! I am glad I found this site. I need to be able to talk to ChristianMotgers who understand . So many people look for blame within us, trying to say there must be something going on we don't know about if their Children feel this way! No one but those of us who have lived through it understand the constant playing it over in your head searching for Why? I know I was not perfect but no one deserves this kind of pain to be inflicted with no chance to talk or work through it. I never realized what an epidemic it is until I started talking to others about my situation. I agree it is a sin problem! Claudia

poodlegirl61 09/15/2015

Well I know you read my post from yesterday and I am suffering along with you. I really think my son must have a demon or something. He was the kindest, dearest soul when he was growing up. For 23 years he was so close to his family....and I thought to God. He made a profession of faith when he was younger, and was baptized, and we always talked about the Lord and prayed. So if he was truly saved, I don't see how a demon could possess him, so I just don't understand any of this or how it can happen. I can tell you one thing though, that there is NO WAY I could have endured this without my faith. My friends cannot believe I am not just lying in a puddled mess of tears and how I manage to make it day to day. Some have even said they would have killed themselves if it were them. And how could a loving God permit this. Well I don't have the answers, but I do know my faith is strong. And I firmly believe God is good and God is love, and somehow He has control of this. EVen though I can't for the life of me see what it is. But He is carrying me right now, that is for sure. When I got my hateful message yesterday from my ES, I felt as though someone had sucker punched me right in my stomach.

Sommersmom 09/15/2015

Welcome Claudia.....we really do understand how you feel. It's been 6 years since I've seen my ED. Just like your ES, my ED told me she didn't want me influencing her children with the christian values she was raised with. She is now an atheist (so she claims,) and doesn't want any contact with me at all. That is only one reason, I believe, she estranged, along with my closing the mom bank she enjoyed withdrawing funds from on a regular basis. When I couldn't help her financially at one point, she claimed I never did anything for her, and hasn't spoken to me since.

I'm grateful for our Lord and Savior.....I can't imagine going through this without Him.

ruthsandraschilling 09/16/2015

Just saying as a word of advice to everyone. I have found it best not to say much to friends who have good relationships with their children ... They have no idea what it feels like to be estranged from your child. Their remarks only make you feel worse...so best to say nothing.

DeeplySaddened 09/20/2015

Ruth is so right. Very good advice. I learned it the hard way.

edr1961 09/22/2015

i agree also,some seem to feel we did something to cause our grown children to act this way,i have a wall up with both of my grown sons,they can pull the carpet from under me, my emotions are weak and dont need their foolish ways.

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