I am so sorry you are in so much pain. But I have felt the same pain, and it is truly something that just cannot be understood. I have so many friends who are in your position. My close friend is used as a full time babysitter by both her children, and otherwise they ignore and disrespect her. I don't have grandchildren yet, and I am profoundly grateful for that, which is a sad way to feel. There just seems to be an epidemic of adult children, who came from loving homes, where their parents gave them everything they had and were, and more, who are now ungrateful, convinced of their own superiority, but who also expect their parents or particularly, their mothers, to drop everything and come running if their adult child or their children need anything, for which they will not be thanked or appreciated for. I see my friend making herself so exhausted, by being a full-time, 24/7 on-call babysitter for her grandchildren, and her adult children treat her like she has no right to an opinion, or an emotion, or even basic respect and gratitude and understanding. These adult children feel free to tell their mothers when they are not perfect in every way, according to AC, but these same adult children think THEY are perfect in every way, and go ballistic if there is even a suggestion to the contrary. It's really twisted, and morally wrong, and some of these adult children call themselves Christian!!! I am sorry to vent, I just have witnessed so many dear friends in the same terrible pain you are in. My estrangement from my ES and DIL, which came on suddenly, and for no reason, brought me tremendous pain and loss and grief and anger, but at least I can be thankful I am not being held hostage to them by any grandchildren. I know that I CAN'T understand it. It took me a long time to accept that, I so long for understanding, probably because I used to think that if I could understand it, I could change it, make it better. But it is epidemic in this time. There is something very wrong with today's young adults, and not so young adults, our children fail to see what we gave them, often at great personal sacrifice, and out of a very pure love, a very true and real mother's love, that they never get from anyone else. But this generation has decided they don't NEED a mother's love, that a mother's love is without value and meaning, and just provides a way for you, the adult child, to abuse your mother's love to your own selfish advantage. How a person like that came out of me, I will never know or understand. I am in pain tonight, too. I am so sorry, gma6, that you are enduring the terrible pain of being treated so poorly by your own children. Who are supposed to be adults. Being adult had a very different definition, back when we were becoming adults. I pray that God will give us all strength, people who understand, and the peace that passeth all understanding, as we grapple with these painful problems.

So sorry for the poor behavior of your AC. It is a sign of the times and so contrary to God's plan for AC. They are dishonoring their mother. Have you shared your feelings with them (not that our EC care)? I'm sure you love being with the gc. Many mothers feel if they dare to speak truth in love that they may lose that blessing of seeing the gc. It is a decision after praying about it that you must make. Bearing with the pain or talking with them (risking that they do not want to be told anything that they do wrong which is the usual way) are the options.

If you choose not to talk with them then pray for God's grace to accept the way they are and the grace to endure until God changes them. God and us know you are worthy of being honored.God cares! We care!

gma, Im sorry you feel that way. You are NOT disposable, none of us are. I know how you feel though. My one son only talks to me when he needs something or to babysit. It is pure disrespect, and against God's commandment. Our AC, don't know & don't care that they are doing this. I will pray for peace for you. ((hugs))

BUT you are" not nothing" in Gods eyes, who knows best about rejection? Jesus ! Keep your focus on him, his teachings and commandments. It is a fractured, unjust world that we live in but you know your identity in Christ. Perhaps he wants you to not focus on the hurt but to focus on spreading the word and the gospel. You can use the babysitting time to teach and instruct the little ones in Christ. Think of ways to serve him in your sorrow.

Hi gma6, I'm sorry for your pain. I think all estranged parents can relate to the hardship your feeling. Years earlier, we remember the pregnancy or adoption, the birth, the tiny years when they needed us for absolutely everything, every minute of the day....... when we heard "mom" a million times a day. They loved us.
Then, the confusion of life sadly sets in to our EC's hearts, and the evil sin of this world lures them away. We don't "give" enough, "care" enough, "listen" enough, "spend" enough money to keep them pleased, and we watch as ungodly influences lure them into their snare, and teach them to disregard us if we don't / can't meet their every material need. As if, that was meant to be our only purpose.
Our Lord knows and understands. He loves us always. He wraps His arms around us to comfort us. Prayers and hugs from all of us......