CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
Its been since Feb this year that I heard from my Daughter . I have left the lines of communication open but she has just disappeared from my life . She has refused to allow me to get to know my grand-daughters . She has accused me of such horrific things from her childhood , that I am still in shock . She has False Memory Syndrome . She truly believes what she dreams . She has had such dreams of passing on over passes and seeing dead children all over the roads , she has dreamed of us getting evicted when squatting on land that didn't belong to us , she believes that she and I lived in tents all over the south , she dreamed and believes she was sexually and physically abused by every member of our family . She truly believes that her brothers and I were the main people in doing wrong to her . Her brothers always were over protective of her , as was I . She was the only girl of the six children I raised . She and I were best friends , all her days at home , for 18 years . Then when she graduated , she met some boy and his family and moved into his house and nothing was ever the same again . He is 18 months younger than she and bosses him around . She is spoiled .
She was so kind when at home . She loved me and everyone of her brothers . But now we don't even know where she is . I have divorced , since 1999 , and alone this entire time . She was and is very important to me and I miss the hell outta her . She was such a gentle soul before she went to her now husbands home to live . I didn't get invited to thier wedding , even tho I bought the rings ( engagement and wedding bands ) and her wedding decorations . her Mother in Law , sent me pics of the wedding and reception . I was not allowed to be at the birth of my second granddaughter ... and when my daughter was in the hospital on numerous occasions no one called me to let me know . To be honest too , I never really liked her now husband coz he was always so sneaky , he cheated on her with strippers more than once , stole from his job and would get fired , while she worked 2 jobs and was in school he would be home playing XBox or out drinking with the guys . , he borrowed hundreds of dollars from me and even tho I never asked for it back , he began to ignore me , and wouldn't even look at me from across the dinner table . Treating me like I had an incurable disease and he would catch it if he looked at me ... about 4 years later , the accusations began ... after my daughter started taking her daughter to therapy for acting out in school ... so her not being a good parent was all my fault , and more accusations came and she put on the weight , last time I saw her she was well over 400 pounds , I bought her a gift subscription as per her request to a gym , she went 4 times in 6 months .... and now I have lost my child and grandchildren .
Im lost but making it , not a day goes by that I don't think of her , and my grand-daughters .
She was so kind when at home . She loved me and everyone of her brothers . But now we don't even know where she is . I have divorced , since 1999 , and alone this entire time . She was and is very important to me and I miss the hell outta her . She was such a gentle soul before she went to her now husbands home to live . I didn't get invited to thier wedding , even tho I bought the rings ( engagement and wedding bands ) and her wedding decorations . her Mother in Law , sent me pics of the wedding and reception . I was not allowed to be at the birth of my second granddaughter ... and when my daughter was in the hospital on numerous occasions no one called me to let me know . To be honest too , I never really liked her now husband coz he was always so sneaky , he cheated on her with strippers more than once , stole from his job and would get fired , while she worked 2 jobs and was in school he would be home playing XBox or out drinking with the guys . , he borrowed hundreds of dollars from me and even tho I never asked for it back , he began to ignore me , and wouldn't even look at me from across the dinner table . Treating me like I had an incurable disease and he would catch it if he looked at me ... about 4 years later , the accusations began ... after my daughter started taking her daughter to therapy for acting out in school ... so her not being a good parent was all my fault , and more accusations came and she put on the weight , last time I saw her she was well over 400 pounds , I bought her a gift subscription as per her request to a gym , she went 4 times in 6 months .... and now I have lost my child and grandchildren .
Im lost but making it , not a day goes by that I don't think of her , and my grand-daughters .
You of course need to find a text, email or something first....Facebook friends, etc., I know she needs you, and her siblings ??? They know something? Have them help with locating her.
You have to be the one to change or have a heart change before she will be even open to you. Communication changes when its gentle.
As for getting her any help I offered , When the first accusations came about my abusing her ( which btw she was only ever scolded , and time out's , or things taken away from her when she was older to prevent the passing out from crying ) I almost had a heart attack myself , she called me on the phone to tell me she had been remembering things and asked me to listen to her and not say a word , well I did , and I sat mortified with the details she was giving me of her memory . I fell to the floor and then called my Mother and asked her to bring me to the ER , where my blood pressure was stroke level . She had tried to call me 3 times , and my not answering her calls compounded her memory rememberance of what had happened in her mind . When I was able to talk to her the next day I had spoken to my own Dr first about it and she suggested a group in Houston Tx on false memory , I spoke with them and they set me up with some classes and information on the matter , and when she called me back . I told my daughter this exact thing ... I'm not calling you a liar but those things didn't happen ...she went ballistic ... she began screaming and yelling and crying ... and all I could think of was how she used to pass out and hit the ground during such episodes . .... she hung up on me and I wrote her a email explaining how I love her and I was so sorry she felt this way and that I would pay for any therapy she needed , she stopped talking to me completely ...
She expected me to never speak to my oldest son who is in prison for life , when I refused her this , is when all this began , thats when she moved out of my home to the now husbands parents home . Everytime thereafter we spoke and I would say Joe said hello , she told me to never speak his name to her again that he was the first to touch her and he was dead to her .... and my Son was not even in our home as he was raised mostly by his own Father later in years .