CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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/ CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Support Group

MY STORY

edr1961
edr1961

Have not been on for awhile,trying to cope with the estrangement issues back and forth with son/dil.It has took a toll on myself/dh health,our litttle gs who is 5yrs old,continues with his allergies with all the dogs still this story may ring a bell to some.We still have not been permitted to son/dil home going on 2-3 yrs,now my precious gs starts to school and pray the school will be able to help,our gs visits weekly and we keep our mouth shut and try to make no waves,my precious gs is covered is flea bites,never goes outside to play until we get him,they have him in clothes with long sleeve shirts,tshirts under that,long pants,my son said they are clam diggers i had to tell him no they arenot they are grave diggers,in 90 degree heat,they try to hide the bites on legs,arms,very heartbreaking.Our gs tells us he wants to stay with us forever,and doesnt want to go home,he tells us things a child shouldnt have in there innocent minds,how his sister helps him wipe his butt with papertowels,and comes walking in stratled leg,and the crazy mother admits it cause he doesnt do it right,i replieped it doesnt give her that right to take revenge on him,hits his little face if we say anything they will not let us see him again,they have done that before and it almost killed us.My son/dil dont come over unless wanting something or to drop gs off and pick up and they do not stay long they call it "DRIVE THROUGH" isnt it disgusting,brand new house they have 2 yrs old its infested with fleas.Thank you for letting me vent.Any input i love to hear.

givingupcontrol
givingupcontrol
I'm so sorry your dear gs is enduring suffering at the hands of the adults responsible for his well-being. I do hope and pray that the school notices something is not right and will do something. Have you considered calling Family & Child social services? I know you don't want your son to get into trouble, but it sounds like he and his wife are not capable of taking care of their sweet, innocent 5 year old son.
edr1961
edr1961
Yes I have thought of calling CPS,im not really concerned with dil/son getting in trouble because they deserve whatever comes there way.My concern is they will know I called because they have no socialization except for myself/husband.And we have went down this road more than once with these people before and they refused to let us see him for 5 months and it was unbearable and afraid Cps removing our gs and that is what is needed but I don't think they will allow us to take him until they can get there priorities straight.Thank you for your prayers I will continue to keep you informed,its such a relief to talk about it to someone.
givingupcontrol
givingupcontrol
Just a thought... have you considered telling dil/son that if they don't handle the abuse situation that you will call the authorities? Maybe if they see you're not playing games, they will straighten their act up. I know the fear of not seeing your gs is paralyzing in all this and I'm so sorry. As I'm sure you are doing, I would say just think about what's best for gs in the short and long term.
How long have dil/son been married? They sound disfunctional and those marriages usually do not hold up in the long run. If they implode, I'm sure your son will come back to you for help.
edr1961
edr1961
They have been together 7 yrs,and its been a living nightmare,di has 3 grown kids,she is 40yrs,my son is 31,and I was not happy with the idea,he is a nurse yup! a nurse he knows better,i am a nurse,and disabled due to a fall at home,husband is disabled also.Dil is a nurses aide,but has not worked for 5 yrs and recently found to be diabled due to auto accident,there home burned to ground,my gs almost died on Christmas day 2014 due to his sodium level being diluted she let him drink,drink instead of food,have needed our financial assist the entire time and we have helped to the point it hurt,dil stays in bed most of day I am not exaggerating,she has 20 yr daughter just graduated hs,no job,no drivers lisence,now gs to me has been put on medicine they say its ecema,he is allergic to everything from our carpet,pnut butter,wheat,eggs,milk,but never the dogs it been like this his whole entire little life,we have argued,written letters to allergist doctor and begged him to help,i don't know last time gs has went to dr,we live in a 55 plus community,husband cant take care of property any longer,live 15 min from son/dil. Dil does not take gs anywhere,not to dr,haircut,shop,my son does it all,not even grocery shop,son even cooks we didn't raise him this way he saw none of this at home and breaks my heart.I am on Xanax,wellbutrin I cry and get so depressed like now I have been in a real funk since fathers day.So sorry for bending your ear.
Lovetohike59
Lovetohike59
Im so sorry. Somehow the Lord will answer our prayers in His time.
edr1961
edr1961
Long time since been online,As my story remained the same my son and I had words on Sept 15,2017 when he picked my GS up,He stated" it will be long time before I speak to you", I told him" You will speak with DYFS" and I called,they checked on GS I don't know what happened. Son/DIL wont let us see my GS since that day 1yr and 6months with no contact from anyone,Christmas 2017 came and sent GS presents by UPS,we wanted them to sign for them and they refused his presents so we had to pick them up at UPS office.My heart is broke I pray,and cry daily.SON/DIL put us on there phone plan,cut our phones with no warning,thats ok I got our own plan,and they blocked us from any contact.Myself and spouse are disabled and husband not well health wise,Husband went and knocked on there door they were home,and they wouldn't answer,no more for me to do I have to wait.I send my GS cards every holiday I don't know if he gets them,i make a copy before sending.
urbangardener
urbangardener
A book that helped me tremendously is Done with the Crying. The author also has a very good forum on her website where parents help each other to heal and move forward. You might look into this. It helped me a lot. Its just very difficult to deal with our angry and abusive EC. But there is hope for our healing. We can't fix or change other people but we can work on our own selves and lives to have happier ones.
edr1961
edr1961
Thank you, its a very hard situation and I don't think I will ever get over this.My husbands is sick and have no family we go to gastro dr tomarrow,sometimes its overwhelming.Thank you again
nednedz
nednedz
Sorry to hear you are going through this. How heartbreaking!! Even everyone here can see how abusive your ES / DIL are to your dear GS. Especially sending back your presents!! Every GC must have grandparents in his life. Grandparents are the flowers of life. Stay strong. One day your dear GS will realise how wrong his parents were and will walk out on them and come to you. And when they come begging for forgiveness, it'll be too late because it'll be their turn to be estranged from this dear child. Karma never sleeps.