CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/may/21/private-lives-depression:
"My husband and I think our eldest son, aged 22, is suffering from clinical depression. He refuses to seek help or speak to a professional about how he feels, but concedes that his behaviour is not "normal". Since leaving college four years ago he has had a couple of jobs, but has done nothing for the last two years. Occasionally, my husband gives him a small sum of money so he doesn't lose contact with his few remaining friends.
I have a happy and supportive marriage and good relationships with my other two children. However, my eldest son is sullen and angry. He says we failed to teach him responsibility and weren't strict enough. He believes he went to a terrible school, that we encouraged him to sit the wrong exams and that his college course was pointless.
I fear that he will still be living with us at 30, stuck in this mire of misery and self-loathing. He sleeps odd hours and avoids contact with us. I have tried hard to involve him in things, but he has accused me of being neurotic and controlling. His personal hygiene sometimes leaves a lot to be desired.
He has said that if we threw him out, he would have to do something, but I would never do that. I confided to him that I had suffered from depression years ago, had sought help and made a full recovery. I'm worn down by anxiety about him and alternate between rage and sadness.
Cognitive therapy might help
Your son is angry or disappointed with himself, but rather than accepting this and dealing with what is bothering him, he is projecting his resentment on to those he would like to believe are responsible for his situation..."
"My husband and I think our eldest son, aged 22, is suffering from clinical depression. He refuses to seek help or speak to a professional about how he feels, but concedes that his behaviour is not "normal". Since leaving college four years ago he has had a couple of jobs, but has done nothing for the last two years. Occasionally, my husband gives him a small sum of money so he doesn't lose contact with his few remaining friends.
I have a happy and supportive marriage and good relationships with my other two children. However, my eldest son is sullen and angry. He says we failed to teach him responsibility and weren't strict enough. He believes he went to a terrible school, that we encouraged him to sit the wrong exams and that his college course was pointless.
I fear that he will still be living with us at 30, stuck in this mire of misery and self-loathing. He sleeps odd hours and avoids contact with us. I have tried hard to involve him in things, but he has accused me of being neurotic and controlling. His personal hygiene sometimes leaves a lot to be desired.
He has said that if we threw him out, he would have to do something, but I would never do that. I confided to him that I had suffered from depression years ago, had sought help and made a full recovery. I'm worn down by anxiety about him and alternate between rage and sadness.
Cognitive therapy might help
Your son is angry or disappointed with himself, but rather than accepting this and dealing with what is bothering him, he is projecting his resentment on to those he would like to believe are responsible for his situation..."
It was I who made the decision that he had to have a move out date. We mostly enjoyed having ES living with us, but he wasn't growing, he wasn't moving on. He was spending less and less time with people his own age. I wanted more for him We could have kept him around as our little buddy, watching movies together, his dad and him talking rock music, etc., but that wouldn't be loving him. I want ES to have a life apart from us. I want him to start dating (he got burnt twice by gals and it's hard for him) again, then meet that right gal, have children of his own some day. He is very tall and I call him my "gentle giant." He loves kids and is very good with them. I miss him every day. Maggie