You have exhibited tough love and you have nothing to ever feel bad about. My friend and her husband had to practice tough love with their daughter. It took years but they stood their ground and told her that until she left the life she was living, she was not welcome in their home. She has now matured, has a job, takes responsibility for herself and has even come back to God.

My friends prayed for their daughter non stop. God heard their prayers. God is there with you also.

I'm sorry you have the added stress with your son to deal with as well as dealing with the end of your father's life. You did the right thing with your son IMO about the money. As he told you he isn't a child of 5. If he needed money he could have asked in a better way if he could borrow money. You don't owe it to him. He should be prepared for emergencies-- that's what adults do.

Sorry such a tough place to be.. as for your dad,, just voice what u need to , hearing is the last to go, and the spirit still recognizes you, tho the body may not be able to respond.. .. Im thinking of you in this rough time... Hopefully your son will show so he can have some closure

Gordos: You have my deepest sympathies. Having been in this position I know what you are dealing with. You truly don't need forgiveness here. You are just using tough love as said above. Its hard but it does work.

I know all the signs if it helps I can talk to you about this and try to help you through that part or just be there to listen.

God bless you friend.

Gordos, God knows just what you can handle right now. You have done nothing wrong. You deserve respect from your ES. God bless you during this difficult time.

Thank you all for your support & prayers. You have NO idea how much you all mean to me. BTW, I lit a candle at church for you all today & said a prayer for all of us.

What a very kind thing to do for all of us estranged parents...even while in the midst of your own troubles you thought of all of us.

You see only a good kind person would do that...thats why I know in my heart...that each and every one of us was and is a good loving mom/parent...I just cant understand what happened with our kids.

Blessings
AllK

Gordos4,
I had hoped that your son’s response would be more positive than mine. I lost my beautiful mother last month & she cried to see my ES b/c they were close b4 his GF came into our lives. In email, I begged him to come see her when she went to the ER & he never showed. She went to Hospice about a mile from where he was staying & he didn’t come. When she died, my older son went to him & asked if we could rely on him to be a pallbearer. He came with us after we told GF she was not invited. My ES broke down after seeing his grandma, hugged me & held my hand during the service. My mom was my best friend & I thanked her for bringing my ES back to me. GF was waiting for him when we returned & after a few days with her, he went back to hating me & his brother. I refuse to enable the lifestyle he has chosen & he has since, done other things to hurt me more. I don’t know if my tears are for my Mom or for him. Sometimes I’m so angry at him b/c he did this selfish act during the time when my Mom needed me most. Or I’m angry because he isn’t allowing me to mourn my Mom. He & his GF are kicking me while I’m down and I’m currently in counseling to help me cope. I love & miss the son from 4 months ago so much. In hindsight, I wish he hadn’t come at all so I could be mourning only my Mom during the holidays and been more at peace now. You will need Peace when God takes your father home.

Greiveing, I already have peace. I said the divine mercy Chaplet again last night, while concentrating on my ES. WHen I got done, a huge sense of peace overtook me.. I know God is letting me know "it's okay to not put up with the hurt your son gives you anymore"
Don't you let them stop you from grieving, they have no control over that! You just go ahead & cry & miss your mom as much as you want. Good Lord, these kids are selfish & hateful. May God forgive them, for they know not what they do.

My heart goes out to you all. It still boggles my mind that our kids hurt the ones that love them most and then turn around and give hugs and kisses to those that they barely know and will not be there for them in the future when disaster strikes them. Those that they think will stick with them then will blow away in the wind and will leave them standing all alone - maybe that is what it takes and they just have not felt the pain of rejection like we have. What do you think it will take?

Guelsmom, if I knew what it took, believe me, I would try to make it happen sooner. Wouldn't that be nice?

Our ED has not come to see her sick grandmother either. I am not inviting her again as the invitation was already given.

GuelsMom asked a question that may have a sad answer for our ED. She had treated us so bad and betrayed us in the past 2 years while praising her temporary (there has been many) enablers. I believe it will take hitting a bottom as the prodigal son to have her turn around. I pray that God 's will be done.

I prayed & felt peace this morning. But GF’s father retained an atty for my ES & I rec’d a ltr today stating to give him all of his belongings. (GF wants guitar/equip that she’d given him). I am not to contact him & if I fail to do so they will file a replevin action against me in district court plus a VPO. I contacted him recently when HIS dog couldn’t keep food down or walk. My older son was working & I needed help (she’s 65lbs) & he refused. She yelped as I used my mom’s wheelchair to get her to my car. She had kidney/liver failure & had to be put down. I sent a txt to see if ES wanted to say good-bye; no response. The vet waited 4 my older son to get off work & he held her & we cried as she passed away. Now I have to retain an atty b/c ES left me an outstanding cr card bal where he was an authorized user & only he used it. I sacrificed & gave ES everything to become successful & this is my reward. With GF, he’s dropped out of college & w/o my extra car, he’s unemployed. GF pays 4 everything. My heart is totally shattered.

Grieving, I am so very sorry. How heartless. His own dog. Those of us that have watched our beloved animals be put down know that it is terribly hard to do and to watch. I could never let the dr do it without me there. I felt it my responsibility. I am so sorry. And to get legal papers. Unbelievable. You mentioned he was an authorized user on that card. If he was authorized it is doubtful you will get anything back. You could be wasting your cost of the attorney. Have you since taken him off the card? I hope so.

If I can help at all, please feel free to message me. Im always available to listen. God bless you hon.

Gordos, you remain in my prayers.

My son has mentioned suing me for "parental non-performance". Kind of like that movie " Irreconcilable Differences". These kids just getting worse & worse.