CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
The more time that goes on, the more I realize & admit to myself that when & if my son ever reaches out to me, Im not sure how I would react. He has said SO many hurtful/hateful things to me, I dont know how I feel about him anymore. I love him, but dont know if we will ever be able to have a normal mother/son relationship. The last time we spoke, he told me I was a giant loser because I didnt finish college. I told him I was pregnant with him & that is why I didnt finish! He still said I was a loser. Is this just horrible of me to feel this way, or do others feel the same way?
God Bless You!
I have been crying for my other two adult children..they don't deserve to be treated badly at all. This estrangement would even be more bearable if other loved ones of mine were not being treated so badly either.
Love is kind, gentle, pure, tenderhearted, forgiving, NOT self-centered..and none of these descriptions describe my son anymore. He has changed and is behaving so opposite to these loving qualities.
My daily prayer: "Jesus, my family needs YOU today, more than ever!"
Don't believe the lies..that you are a "loser"..that comes straight from satan..the accuser. My mean spirited son has accused me of hurtful things too. I replace all of the accusations with what Jesus tells me..I am a precious child of God, loved, and so loved that He was willing to die on the cross for me, He loves me that much. He picks up my broken heart and is slowly mending it. My heart is healing, but will have a huge scar..until eternity, someday, when my heart will be "whole"..no brokenness, no scars..completely healed. I wait for this day, eternal love WITH Jesus! For now, He is helping me cope, after all, Jesus surely understands rejection and ill treatment..it happened to HIM..right??
I abhor this Behavior, but I have to separate this from Who I know he is in his heart. This is the work of a Enemy attack on me, my person and everything I am.
If I focus onto this, although, I become blinded to his need to be delivered from the enemy who put these outrageous lies and thoughts in his head and heart. The enemy wants me to believe this is my sons true self.....and frankly it is not.!! All hatred and the product of it comes from the Devil.
I must, as his Mother who loves him un-conditionally, remain steadfast, and love him un-conditionally as Jesus loves me un-conditionally.
I know you are saying you believe in this love too. I'm affirming with you that we must remain in love.
We just cannot harden our hearts toward them. We must remain faithful to love them no matter what. they say, do, or how they have dishonoured us and mock us.
My ESons E-mail excerpt:
{ "My daughter will not be used as an inroad into communication. As a tool to wash away all of your blatant evil. You are a liar and deceiver.
I see you moving back, and in the same city no less, as a direct threat against my family.
I do not believe that you moving back here has anything to do with God's plan,
as you often say everything is.
You can save your response email that has it's own demands in it ,
I will not be contacting you for anything.
Your presence is not wanted here, and is a direct threat to us.
I am 100% convinced that all these problems stem from you and your warped sense of what it means to be a mother.
I am not interested and DO NOT WANT emails, forwards, text messages, phone calls, cards, letters, gifts, thoughts or prayers from you.
You do not deserve to visit my daughter or be a part of her life." }
My Dear hurting friends: Let us remember: Ephesians 6:12 NIV
"For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places."
We must remember and hold on firmly to the fact that Our Sons /Daughters are still IN THERE. And Proverbs 22:6 ~"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it"
This is the written words of the Bible, so we Cling to them. !!
Hold out Hope ! Trust the Lord in all Things. ! ALL
So many people call themselves Christians..but really, if their words and actions speak such mean and ugly words to people..how could God's presence be working in that person's life??
My ES needs to get back to God. I know that if my son was in right relationship with God, I would not need to be on this forum, and we would be in a working relationship..maybe not always healthy, but "working" nonetheless. No true authentic Christian would write such abusive words..and they are abusive..call them what they are. My sense is that your ES may need to get "right" with God.
Like my son, the estrangement he has with God is much more serious than his estrangement with me. I pray that God speaks to him directly..in a clear and precise way..that God would work on his heart. I will pray this for your son as well. God knows how to reach them. We just need to trust God that He will be faithful and send the "hounds of heaven" after them. They need to get back to a right relationship with God..they are being deceived and are NOT acting Christlike. "Dear Lord..draw ALL of our estranged loved ones BACK to YOU!"..In Jesus' Name..Amen.
Amen ... I HAVE REBUKED THEM ! ....My purpose in my post is to display , how horrific they can BEHAVE...
But that our response should be different, pointing toward ...not THEM, ....but their actions, which have an Evil root.
So, We love our Children Forgive Them and Pray that we do NOT harbor resentment and Bitterness so that our prayers will be heard, effective, pure and blameless before God out of praying against what this is truly about, Not them, But Evil. !
The Enemy would love for us to charge our Children with their wrong, and yes, they need to be repentant. But the one who brought all this is The Enemy. lets pray against the Right Root. LET GO OF OUR CHILDREN , IN THE NAME OF JESUS !
Your right maddie, They need to turn back to God. But if they are bound, We need to be Spiritual Warriors in prayer for them.
This quote from your above post is Spot on Maddie !
" the estrangement he has with God is much more serious than his estrangement with me"
That is why his words cannot hurt me. I am not saying I haven't spent time to process and grieve it.
But it has NO POWER. Because this Struggle is with God and My Son, Not me. But because I was his Childhood Teacher about GOD and a place of honour was given to me, by God, for his life......when he rebels against God, he in turn feels he must rebel against me.
Because this Dis-Honor is really against God , not Me-but I am tied to it , He is breaking a Commandment in reference to me, then He is lashing out at me.
I Do know there is a place , for parents to take Responsibility for their actions and ask Forgiveness.
But, We Parents need to Stop Blaming ourselves for everything, and looking for what we could have possibly done. This is Their Sin-They need to learn how to do battle with the devil to have Strength in God and learn to run to Him.
Amen, Amen on your last line Maddie. !!
"Dear Lord..draw ALL of our estranged loved ones BACK to YOU!"..In Jesus' Name..Amen."