I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to endure all the added pain from your son. Hopefully his behavior will allow you to step back from his drama and take care of your own needs.

I will keep you in my prayers.

I'm so sorry. So hard under normal circumstances, but to steal from you at your dad's funeral. I am not good at looking up past comments, so if you have mentioned it before, forgive me, but - is your son into drugs by any chance? I used to belong to a great support group called "stand up parenting". They have a lot of resources on how to deal with out of control kids. The stealing sounded too familiar. Many of the members of this group learned how to change the locks on their houses to keep their kids from robbing them blind to support their drug habit. Anyway...I'm so sorry for your loss and the extra sadness your ES brought. Giving our children up to the Lord in these traumatic ways is not natural. May God strengthen you and give you His peace and patience to endure this heartache. Don't lose hope in the power of God to change your son someday.

gordos, My sympathy on the loss of your Dad.

I am sorry to hear what you had to go through with ES. You are good parents for taking this stand. They know we love them (not their behavior) and that the door is open once they get their life on order. They have to want to change especially if it involves substance abuse. There is much help out there today for him. God bless you with Shalom.

Yes, I NOW think he is heavy into drugs...He says he is going to counseling every week, he has to to get his anti-depressants refilled...My husband & I will be changing our locks, even though he lives in Omaha, I really don't trust him now. He is going to have to hit rock bottom in order to get the help he really needs..so sad.

gordos, I am praying for rock bottom with our ED. It may be what is needed for some of our EC in order for them to turn around.

gordos....You need a big HUG....So, so sorry that you have to go through this with you health the way it is and just losing your dad too. Honestly, could he not have been just a tad bit of help to you during this time??? Really! That boy needs to be taken to the woodshed as they used to say.

Good idea on the locks too. Also, I do hope I am wrong, but I would also suspect the counseling too. It could have been a ploy to get money. I don't want to unnecessarily jump to wrong conclusions but his behavior does not seem to be consistent with someone who is trying to get help.

I agree with linda and others that he has crossed a boundary that should not have been crossed.

I want to add how sorry I am too. Losing your dad on Valentines.
Good for you to still be able to hear God's voice about checking his bag. He's probably not really mad at you, just that you found it.
I'm also worried about the anti-depressents. I know some drug users go to different drs./counselors to get extra perscriptions. If you know this counselor I would let him know what happened.

So very sorry for your loss of Dad...hope all the rest went out okay with "the family"
Missed you !!!
AllK

Thank you all for your kind & supportive words. I just pray to God my ES will see the light soon..

sorry gordo, that was enough stress dealing w/a death..my dau cleaned me out too, no remorse, she took 2/3rds of my dvds, took them to Algeria, i cant replace them..they seem to think its owed them, she rationalizes it all to her favor, they all do

He is now claiming he was overmedicated by his psychiatrists..I told him today I don't want to hear from him anymore & he isn't welcome in our house until he gets his life together. He told me "I am dead to you mom, I will never bug you again" As usual, it's getting all turned around on me & husband, it's our fault. I almost asked him if I could get that in writing..he scares me.

gordos....I see you getting stronger and that is a good thing. You have to do it for your sake, your safety and your son's sake. He needs accountability. Even if he was overmedicated, he had to have go to the psychiatrist for those meds. Secondly, being over medicated does not justify theft according to the laws of our country and most certainly by God's laws.

Thank you for your update. It helps to know how to keep you best in our prayers. How are you doing health wise anyway? It is so sad that you have to go through this when you are physically not doing well.

Blessings to you!

Stay strong in The Lord and in the power of His might. You are doing this for your sake and your son's future well-being. God bless you.

Guelsmom, I think you must have me confused with someone else, I am not physically ill, thank God.
I keep thinking Im being a cold hearted witch by telling my son he isn't to call me anymore or come home..I am at my ropes end & don't know what else to do. My husband, who is my ES's stepdad, also says he will not allow ES to come home again until he gets his "stuff" together.
My sisters are being VERY judgemental about the whole thing. My one sister actually stole from me several years ago & still wont admit to it. The other sister's son is a worse mess than my ES.

Ooooops gordos!!! Sorry.....Can I plead age here???