CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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MariaStevie 10/19/2011

Here's some of what I've learned through the estrangement:

-I can't control the estrangement
-I'm not to blame for the estrangment
-Even if estrangement results, it is healthy for me to set boundaries
-Despite the estrangement, I can still love my estranged child in healthy ways
-My estranged child is responsible for choosing to estrange
-No matter how much I want the estrangement to end, I cannot end it
-I can choose to be happy, despite the estrangement
-As hard as the estrangement is, it is better than my estranged child and I remaining in chaos and unhealthy relating with each other
-I can release the estrangment to God with faith that he is taking care of it

deleted_user 10/20/2011

So true. It is often hard to give things over to God and let him do his work in both us and our estranged child.

OverAndOut2 10/20/2011

MariaStevie, that is a very good summary which I'm going to save for reference. Good for self-talk when the feelings start smacking us around. Wwe forget the facts sometimes and the hope we all have for a brighter future.

BlazeStar18 10/20/2011

Maria,
Your so Awesome! Like so many of the ladies here, I am sooooo very glad your here with us!

Chocolate Hugs,
Pearl

MoriahsSong 10/22/2011

I love this Maria! I think I can add to this list - Learning that I have an identity apart from my EC as his parent.

deleted_user 10/24/2011

I am still her although at the moment things are going well with my daughter and I. Have grown fond of all of you. I have learned all of the above and not to set my expectations too high to set myself up for disappointment. Live in the moment and let things roll off my shoulders and realize sometimes we all just have a different perspective. The most important thing I have learned is to have a different identity than just as a parent as Moriahssong said.

MoriahsSong 12/05/2012

I love this! Awesome - Maria! I think it is SO important to have, or develop a new identity apart from our EC as their parent.

This is good to read and is basically a summary of what I need to do in order to live a productive life from here on out - even if my EC does resolve our differences.

This also good to remember when those emotions start getting us down - especially at this time of the year.

Let's remember that we can all have hope for a brighter future.

Moriah

deleted_user 12/05/2012

I must admit that it hurts to read ...."As hard as the estrangement is, it is better than my estranged child and I remaining in chaos and unhealthy relating with each other"....Yet, I know it is true. Calm is good. Peace is better though.

CM

deleted_user 12/07/2012

Maria God Bless You, oh what a lovely and direct to the point. Tonight it is late, Califonia Time, and I need to get back to my family in Christ. The ES took me down to the bottomless pit of sorrow of which I was bathing in that is until tonight, where I found Christians Alive in Christ though sad and hurting for their adult Kids, as I.

The more I read, the more hope is rising in me, and I so needed that. I have been beaten up, the storms raging as they have been and so continual was winning and I was allowing it too. My son's in and out, especially two weeks which I posted about really caved me in. However, The Lord is working mightingly in me and where there was no spark what so ever, tonight I have rec'd a jolt of light, and I know where I must be in order to succeed for HIM, jESUS MY LORD MY BROTHER, MY VERY BEST FRIEND. AMEN. Thanks so much....Mama C

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