My semi estranged DIL and I came to Ladies' Retreat for 3 days. I can't believe my son actually allowed her to come (he's so controlling), but he did. Despite spending the day in the ER Wednesday due to a kidney stone I checked out and opted to have the surgery on Monday instead of waiting until they could work me in. I wanted to come to ladies' retreat, I needed a spiritual renewal and blessings.

Yesterday started off well, my son even showed up in the church parking lot to give our daughter a bike he'd bought her. It seemed like a good start to the trip.

We spent the day on the van with other church members, grabbed some lunch after our 3 + hour drive and checked into the hotel. We got dressed for church and headed over to register and sign in and get good seats. The service was nice with moving music and a good word from a young pastor's wife. We had some laughs and took note of notable quotes, it was nice. Altar service came and there was prayer and a spiritual move and we came together and prayed together and then dismissed. Got back to the hotel at nearly 11, still all was well. My DIL felt chatty, I not quite as chatty as usual from several pain pills in my system. Still, we chatted for a long while and it was going great. Sharing, bonding, laughing, discussing important issues in the world, in the church, etc. Not touching on family drama, talking of love and marriage and such....it seemed to be going well....

3 AM we're still talking, the phone rings. It is my son asking her why she's not asleep. It's him getting angry that I'm keeping her awake talking when we have an 8 am wake up call for morning service. It's her taking the call to the bathroom because it's tense. It's her not saying we're BOTH talking just her saying she's ok with it and she doesn't mind listening, not saying she's doing most the talking. She gets off the phone and I tell her that it upsets me that she isn't telling him we're both talking and neither is imposing on the other. I lay there for a minute and decide to walk downstairs to call my husband, let him know that I could hear my son's voice on the cell from the other room saying he planned to call me and jump my case over being awake at 3. She comes down stairs with the phone saying my son is insisting to talk to me. My husband said not to take the call. We were in the lobby so we returned to the room since I didn't want a spectacle when I was just trying to make a private call.

My son called no less than 30 times until I took the call. He railed against me. He yelled and ranted and carried on. He was angry that I kept her awake. He was angry that he'd spent time with my husband and daughter but was not allowed to stay the night. He demanded that I call my husband and tell him he can sleep over when we've established a rule that he can't just pop in and out of our daughter's life. He'd given her a bike so my husband allowed him to come over for hours but asked him to return home for the night. He then decided he needed to see if DIL was sleeping or if I'm keeping her awake talking. It became hours of chaos and tears. It did not relent until after 6 am. By 7 I was trying to walk downstairs in an area to myself trying to find composure. Once I came back upstairs I found that DIL had went to a random door of people from our church and filled them in on the drama because she needed to talk to someone and I was suddenly the bad guy.

I did nothing, I was enjoying a nice conversation with my daughter in law and my son calls at 3 am to ask why we're still awake and lays waste to all the hard work put into the trip. And because he threw a royal tantrum I, once again, got thrown under the bus.

We did not go to service this morning, the van was leaving at 8:30 and no sleep had been had and we were both wrecked. We woke at 1:30. She went to eat lunch with the others, I stayed behind. I haven't stopped crying since 3 am. I'm in pain and should have went in patient instead of requesting to leave for conference. My husband wants to drive up and get me. I've just now at 3 gotten a room alone to myself. They'll be back from eating soon. We're supposed to leave for church at 6. My world is in shambles and I'm stranded 3 hours from home having paid all of the $250 for this retreat and not in any shape to make a spiritual break through because I can do is break down.

I don't understand this...it is such an unfair yoyo. One minute he's being vile, next minute it's hugs and bicycles, next he's policing us at 3 am to make sure we're not awake talking when we have an early morning, then he's mad because he can't stay up all night with my husband because he was asked to leave overnight.

I'm in an unhealthy place both emotionally and physically. I'll require a procedure to move this stone because it'll never pass through being the size it is. My world is crumbling around me because this attack came during an upswing and light hearted moment.

I need prayers, I don't know how much stronger I can be. I just want to go home and go to bed and cry. I just want to go inpatient for a few days, pull the blanket over my head, and let the world pass me by while I take a breather.