CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
As the holidays grow closer i feel more and more down.My one son still hasnt told us where they live or allowed us to come over,or invited us.And now son and dil invited me to come shopping and didnt want to go,being afraid of the words that could be exchanged but was going to be with my Gs and totry to be nice.Well my son said dil will not be going and you can really tell that he didnt want to go either so i politly backed out also and he was relieved andhe will bbring gs over to spend the day with us.Thats what i wanted anyway,my dh get upset because the way they treat me.Always playing with my emotions.I have texted dil several times this week with no response.They did invite us over for christmas we where asked to bring a few covered dishes,no problem.I honestly dont want to go but i want to see my gs for Christmas.They are only asking us over out of guilt a blind person can see it.Oh how i wish all of this could stop i am starting to have hard feelings.My dh said i look so sad all the time.
We are here to support each other. We need one another.
I know I also sound like a broken record with my "love never fails" comments a lot on here recently, but I am quoting God's word when I say that and believe the truth of that scripture with all my heart!
So if love never fails....and we respond in love to our ES that we still have contact with....how do we put that into something practical that might build a bridge or rebuild a bridge that's been burnt? Have you ever heard of a book called the 5 languages of love?
It is written by a Christian author and explains that there are 5 languages of love and everyone's love language is not the same. For instance, I prefer words of affirmation as my love language. Probably because I did not get much of that as a child from my parents. My youngest son, likes gifts. If you give me gifts, I feel like you are trying to buy my affections. That is because my parents were good at throwing money my way but never words of love or praise. Recently I gave a gift to an Estranged SIL and it really built a bridge that I could communicate my love to her with, but she likes "things" a lot and is used to having lots of money and things.
So if you read, the book might help you figure out a way to speak your love so that your Son and DIL hear it in a new and different way that really speaks to them. The book is 5 love languages by Gary Chapman. So many times our problems with kids start with misunderstandings and miscommunication or lack of knowing how to communicate in ways understood by the person we are speaking to.
My heart is heavy for you Edr! It is miserable to be sad and longing for our kids and I fear your heart is not healing well...don't let those hard feelings find a home there!
How are you?
I am very blessed to have lots of family and friends checking on me all the time. Thanks for asking.