CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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Its aStart

edr1961
edr1961
Well my friends my son called he needed to return a paper to us that he needed to be signed,and he was pleasant to my surprise,he told me he will drop it off wednesday{ tomarrow}, i said thats ok, then he asked would you like to see my gs i stayed calm and said thats good and that he will drop him off wednsday morning also and pick him up at 3pm,i was calm and said thats fine,when i hung up i told dh and he cried,but easy come,easy go he just texed me and said he was sorry but he needs a little more time he isnot ready yet, What can i say i told him "when your ready" i asked him he could pick his easter basket up sat night and he said no problem. God cracked the door for us,and i cant say anything bad,i cant be mad,at least there is hope.My dh and i discussed our son reached out,its a start,baby steps.please pray for us! I think God might be softening his heart
Norske1
Norske1
That is great news. As you say, "baby steps". I applaud your calmness. I am usually not a calm person but the first time my ES came to see me after DH passed away, he was ready for an argument (I think) because he threw all these things at me that defied the way he was raised. My response each time was calm and I simply said he is an adult now and if those are his beliefs, it is okay with me.

I think because I didn't react, he wasn't interested in arguing any more and I see baby steps with the time I have spent with him. I also notice that he is wearing a cross around his neck, which takes great strength because his wife is not a believer.

So glad, edr1961, that you have this door opening.
everloving11
everloving11
Woo-hoo - glimmers of hope!!!! I figure if he could say it once (even though he took it back) it's good exercise of the will!
lindajoan
lindajoan
That is very good news. The best part is that you showed love and willingness in a calm way. I'm sure that spoke volumes to your son. God is able.
IronCowgirl
IronCowgirl
Sounds like prayers are being answered. A "crack" or "baby steps" are great when it comes to our estrangements. I agree with comments of others saying how well you handled this situation. Continued prayers for you.
dmw56
dmw56
Wonderful news and an encouragement for all of us "waiting" for that softening. God is always at work. Sounds like you handled things very well, praying for you!
edr1961
edr1961
Thank you all,i am glad i contained myself.I am not pushing anything,when it happens it happenes. I get nervous,and pray.
poodlegirl61
poodlegirl61
This is wonderful news! I am so happy for you and I will pray for you.
lucy76
lucy76
It is good news that baby steps, cracked doors, glimmers of hope are emerging. It's also hard to read your words and not feel a bit upset for you because it wouldn't have hurt him to allow the visit, it wouldn't have hurt him to not tell you and get your hopes up just to crush them, that's painful and I'm sorry...but yes, glimmers of hope are what we hold onto to make the rest more bearable. I pray that he softens his heart quickly so this trail of hurt can finally lead to healing.
edr1961
edr1961
Yes your 100% right, my dh and i always said our 4 yr old gs has nothing to do with the situation,but he was there only ammo against us.So we cant push to hard,and sometimes i feel maybe i should not have said nothing,but i can,and will not allow anymore abuse toward me and dh with there words,eveytime i said,or ask something enough was enough.My wall is still up i am not afraid of my sons i am afraid of my emotions.They took my gs from 2 gp who would do anything for him and still will. I pray to God and ask him to make me strong the day our gs/son come over so i dont breakdown and cry i dont want our son see that so they think that what they did made us suffer.i am going slow,and not put the horse before the carriage ever again. They not only crushed us they hurt there own son and shame on them,they have to answer for that, i am going to really try to be a different person around son/dil if she has the nerve to show her face to me i wont behateful and excepther the best way God will let me,i dont hate /dislike anyone i dont like what they have done and become i dont know them anylonger justwish them the best and i love em but i am leary of there actions.baby steps,babysteps.thank you all for support.